


this was a mistake

by Eliza_Rose



Category: Ant-Man (Movies), Black Panther (2018), Hawkeye (Comics), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU of sorts?, Because I suck, Chatting & Messaging, Friendship, Gen, all the kids are relatively the same age, also my first fic on ao3 uwu, even though i’ve been reading shit on here since I was in sixth grade, except for the fact that cassie is the same age as lila, i’m ignoring endgame, lila and cassie are 15, no beta we die like men, shuri and peter are 16, the barton fam, this is full of memes, this is half crack and half serious, this is really bad, wanda cooper and harley are 17
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2020-05-15 19:30:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 19,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19302319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eliza_Rose/pseuds/Eliza_Rose
Summary: harley: guess who’s coming to new yorkharley: it’s meharley: good luck old mantony: this was a mistake





	1. absolutely anarchy

**Author's Note:**

> what’s crackalakin
> 
> I read a fic recently kind of like this (ill find it and link it i can’t remember the name) and so I wrote this on a twelve hour car ride because i was really bored and it’s lowkey bad but I don’t actually care. I hope you enjoy anyways :))

SNAPCHAT

peter added wanda  
peter added lila b   
peter added cooper  
peter added shuri  
peter added CASSIE  
peter added harley  
peter named chat “absolute anarchy”

peter: are you ready to FUCKING DIE

shuri: oh HELL yes

wanda: IM A BAD BITCH YOU CAN'T KILL ME

harley: mmmm is this a group chat I smell

lila b: peter what is this  
lila b: I mean not that i’m complaining 

peter: for chaos  
peter: and also because I wanted to

CASSIE: I miss you guys :( 

cooper: I miss you guys too! we need to get together 

harley: AGREE

wanda: oh yeah we definitely need to hang out soon,,, if we don’t I might spontaneously combust 

lila b: phat mood  
lila b: cassie why is your name in all caps 

CASSIE: it’s aggressive 

shuri: bold, I approve

CASSIE: thank you uwu

cooper: cassie say that again and i’ll cut you

CASSIE: im all the way across the country from you bitch, id like to see you try

peter: ON ANOTHER NOTE  
peter: we all need to work together to convince our parents/guardians to get together so by proxy we also get together 

wanda: already on it

CASSIE: will do

cooper: lila and I are great at being annoying, ill update you guys

harley: I will inform my mother

shuri: same here, over and out bitches 

 

WANDA’S PHONE

clint

wanda: clint 

wanda: clint 

wanda: clint 

clint: yes, wanda

wanda: we need to go to new york

clint: why

wanda: to see peter 

wanda: lila and cooper want to go too! they’ll be annoying you about it soon enough

clint: I don’t know wanda

wanda: okay, you asked for it 

clint: asked for what? 

clint: wanda?

clint: IM DISOWNING YOU WANDA 

 

PETER’S PHONE

mr. stark

peter: mr stark

peter: we need to talk

mr. stark: are you okay?

mr. stark: something wrong?

peter: no,, nothing is alright

peter: woe is me, the burden of life is heavy 

mr. stark: pete? talk to me. 

peter: I haven’t seen my bestest friends lila and cooper barton, wanda maximoff (barton), shuri udaku, or harley keener in FOREVER

peter: im going insane,,, blease help

peter: when was the last time you had an avengers get together?? 

mr. stark: that’s all? you scared me there, pete.

mr. stark: I suppose I could talk to pepper. it has been a while since i’ve seen everyone

peter: WKEJKRKSDKSKLKSRKRKT

peter: THANK YOU MR STARK ILY

peter: I must inform my comrades 

mr. stark: you’re welcome, pete

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

peter sent a screenshot

peter: y’all 

lila b: YES   
lila b: I WILL INFORM MY FATHER  
lila b: cooper our time has come 

cooper: hell yeah let’s go sis

wanda: I warned dad,,, he didn’t listen  
wanda: give him hell guys 

shuri: FUCK YEAH  
shuri: i’ve been trying to reach my brother but he’s been in meetings all day,, i’ll update you

harley: my mom hasn’t answered me yet, she’s at work tho so i’m not TOO annoyed 

CASSIE: my dad’s at work but I texted hope and she thinks it’s fine, my dad will probably say yes as well

peter: yeah ur dad will b fine w it he’s pretty chill

CASSIE: ur absolutely right,, i’ll let u know what he says

peter: perfect, our plan is almost complete 

 

LILA’S PHONE

the fam

lila: dad

bro: lila, wanda and i 

big sis: have something to ask you

dad: oh no

lila: WE NEED TO GO TO NEW YORK

bro: IM GOING TO THROW MYSELF OFF A CLIFF IF WE DON'T GO

big sis: ILL LITERALLY BLOW UP A BUILDING 

lila: DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE US

mom: what are you guys talking about?

dad: OKAY OKAY FINE

dad: wanda texted me about this earlier, they want to go see peter in new york

mom: oh I see, well this is not my problem. I don’t care if you go, good luck honey

dad: damn it

dad: okay, I don’t see why we couldn’t go I haven’t seen tony or pepper in a while

dad: however we can’t just show up there, we have to be invited 

big sis: oh, he doesn’t know 

dad: know what?

lila: don't worry

cooper: we’ve got that covered 

big sis: ;)

dad: what do you mean?

dad: guys?

dad: STOP DOING THAT

 

CASSIE’S PHONE

padre

cassie: dad

cassie: dad

cassie: dad

cassie: daaaaad

cassie: FATHER 

padre: yes my daughter?

cassie: okay finally 

cassie: we need to go to new york

padre: why???

cassie: to visit peter

cassie: lila and cooper are going 

cassie: also hope says it’s okay

padre: I mean, okay

padre: i don’t see why not

cassie: hell yeah peter was right

cassie: thanks dad I love you 

padre: love you too peanut 

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

lila sent a screenshot  
CASSIE sent a screenshot

lila b: hell yeah we’ve gottem boyz

CASSIE: LETS GO LESBIANS 

shuri: t’challa still hasn’t answered his FUCKING PHONE  
shuri: eh it’s okay if worse comes to worse i’ll just steal a jet and leave by myself

harley: ALERT MY MOM ANSWERED BYE GUYS 

peter: yeet  
peter: hopefully mr stark will invite everyone like he said

wanda: oh he will

cooper: ominous, I like it

 

HARLEY’S PHONE

mom

harley: can I go to new york

mom: why?

mom: do you want to visit tony?

harley: yes and no

harley: I want to visit peter,,, lila and cooper barton will be there too along with wanda maximoff and cassie lang is coming with her dad

mom: how will you get there?

harley: I was gonna drive?

mom: no, i’ll buy you a plane ticket. I won’t be able to go with you because I have to stay with your sister

harley: really?? thank you so much mom

mom: of course! you work hard, you deserve a vacation, harley

harley: thank you thank you thank you 

harley: I shall inform the crew

harley: I love you 

mom: I love you too 

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

harley sent a screen shot

harley: three down, one to go

peter: YES HARLS 

shuri: MY BROTHER STILL HASNT ANSWERED HIS PHONE  
shuri: im starting to think he’s ignoring me on purpose 

cooper: haha loser

shuri: shut your fuck

cooper: make me bitch

lila b: what the hap is fuckening 

wanda: idk just let them be dumbasses 

shuri: AKSKSKKSJFJFHJDJSJ

peter: shhhhh it’ll be okay 

 

SHURI’S PHONE 

t’chancla

shuri: brother answer your GODDAMN PHONE

t’chancla: sorry I was in very important meetings all day, but by all means tell me what you need

shuri: FINALLY 

shuri: im going to new york

t’chancla: actually, we’re both going to new york

shuri: w h a t

t’chancla: yes, stark invited me a couple minutes ago

shuri: AKSKSKKSKDIRUDJKSKSJDJDM

shuri: I NEED TO TELL PETER 

t’chancla: you do that, sister

t’chancla: wait, am I still saved as “t’chancla”  
in your phone?

shuri: ,,, no

 

TONY’S PHONE

official DADvengers (and t’challa)

tony: so, the kids want to have a get together

clint barton: YES I KNOW

tony: oh no did they get to you already 

clint barton: YES lila, cooper, and wanda have been bothering me ALL DAY about it

scott lang: cassie asked me about it too

t’challa: im sure shuri has been texting me non stop about it, however I have muted her notifications 

tony: good man

tony: I think we should do it. it would be good for the kids, they miss each other

t’challa: I agree 

scott lang: sounds good to me 

clint barton: thank the lord jesus 

clint barton; the little devils aka my CHILDREN will be (a little) less annoying for once 

tony: it’s settled then, how about everyone get here by next tuesday

 

HARLEY’S PHONE 

tony

harley: guess who’s coming to new york 

harley: it’s me

harley: good luck old man

tony: this was a mistake


	2. movie night bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it’s movie night and cooper never gets what he wants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m back boyz
> 
> here’s another chapter!! sorry it’s shorter lol enjoy!

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy

lila b: I hate oak trees,, what day is it today

wanda: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

peter: this is crackhead behavior and will be reported to the POLICE   
peter: also if you were still wondering, it’s saturday

shuri: which means THREE DAYS UNTIL WE SEE EACH OTHER

CASSIE: HELL YEAH 

harley: AKSKKSKSJDJFHFHDJS  
harley: I actually don't think i’m gonna make it

wanda: you have to or i’ll kill you

peter: why do u keep saying vaguely threatening things 

wanda: in order to keep my threatening lady persona I have to say 10 threatening things a day

shuri: u go girl

CASSIE: it’s mandatory if ur a lady

peter: ahhh I see

harley: where’s cooper??   
harley: also where’s lila lmao she said one thing and disappeared 

cooper: im here lol sorry lila got her phone taken away

shuri: wtf she do this time

peter: why?? for how long?? 

wanda: ahahhahahaha omfg   
wanda: im WHEEZINF

cooper: did you find out what she did??   
cooper: also can confirm wanda is ON THE FLOOR  
cooper: she’s overreacting tho it wasn’t even that funny

harley: what did she do???

cooper: dad was making pizza rolls in the microwave and it was the last box and she wanted some so she hid dads hearing aids from him so he couldn’t hear the microwave when it was done then snatched them and fucking a t e them 

wanda: ALSKKSJDJDJKSKWKDD

CASSIE: lmao that’s actually kinda funny   
CASSIE: also mean tho :( id commit murder in cold blood for pizza rolls

peter: lila radiates so much chaotic energy it’s fantastic 

harley: is wanda okay

cooper: no   
cooper: she drank three coffees this morning and is on her fourth

shuri: omfg wanda stop  
shuri: ur as bad as peter on finals week

peter: hey!! i’m not that bad :((

shuri: yeah u are sorry babe

peter: :(

harley: when does lila get her phone back

cooper: tomorrow unfortunately   
cooper: it’s much calmer without her 

peter: don’t u mean boring 

cooper: no

 

COOPER’S PHONE

the fam

cooper: movie night tonight wanda it’s ur pick

magic sis: okay i’ve got a few options and we will vote 

magic sis: 13 going on 30, enchanted, fight club, the princess bride

cooper: fight club

father: the princess bride 

mother: the princess bride

magic sis: the princess bride 

cooper: damn outvoted again

father: language 

cooper: LaNGuAgE

magic sis: hypocrisy 

father: ugh fine

mother: wanda why don’t u get the movie started i’ll make popcorn

magic sis: u got it boss

cooper: i’ll go tell lila since she doesn’t have her phone

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy

wanda: gotta blast boyz it’s movie night and we’re watching the princess bride 

CASSIE: I love that movie!!1!1!2 imma go watch it rn too

wanda: yay then you can also be included in our movie night by like osmosis or something

CASSIE: I don’t think that’s the meaning of osmosis

cooper: I wanted to watch fight club but nooo im always outvoted 

wanda: awee who’s crying like a little babey

cooper: im not crying!!1!1!

peter: im baby

shuri: we know

peter: >:-(

harley: have fun! I love the princess bride 

wanda: really? I would have taken you for more of a clueless guy

harley: nah, I love both but u can’t beat a good sword fight scene

peter: VALID

harley: thanks peter 

peter: <3

harley: <3 

cooper: ew keep your gross love out of the main chat

CASSIE: ^^^^

wanda: cooper put your fucking phone away the movies starting 

cooper: :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> question: should i add twitter into this? let me know in the comments


	3. 187 spicy dollarinos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter is a dumbass, society is a sham, cassie wants siblings and wanda just wants death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow three updates in three days??? who am I lol
> 
> i’ve actually been having so much fun writing this
> 
> as always, enjoy!

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

lila b: GUESS WHO GOT THEIR PHONE BACK HOES   
lila b: it’s me

cooper: yeah no shit

wanda: only because I begged dad to give it back to you and he likes me the most

lila b: stfu you expired box of crackers 

shuri: LMAOOOOO im stealing that one

wanda: :((((

harley: it’s sunday, the lords day

peter: sunday is the worst day besides monday don’t @ me 

harley: D:

wanda: idk tuesday is pretty bad too

CASSIE: GUYS GET OUT OF THE WAY ITS THE LORD

harley: THANK YOU I LOVE U CASSIE EVERYONE ELSE DIE

peter: eh i’m not even offended   
peter: I was planning to die anyway

shuri: im offended  
shuri: get ready to have all of your bones removed from your body and then stuffed into peters pillow case while he’s sleeping 

cooper: holy shit, no thank you 

harley: blocked and reported, my mom is calling your mom

peter: hey leave me out of this 

lila b: all of you are on actual crack cocaine

CASSIE: stfu lila you look like you take adderall with green tea

peter: IM YELLING OMFG

lila b: one day cassie shall perish by my hand

CASSIE: 911 im being bullied

cooper: okay hold up why does everyone want to kill each other all of the sudden 

shuri: it’s the governments fault 

harley: you’re absolutely right 

lila b: lmao FUCK the government   
lila b: society is a SHAM

wanda: no printer, just fax 

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

peter: do u think mosquitoes ever get sad because everyone hates them

shuri: probably, but I don’t care

peter: wow okay

harley: guys it’s 3am go the fuck to sleep

peter: crime never sleeps harley 

shuri: bold of you to be saying, since you’re awake as well

harley: busted 

peter: where are the barton kids   
peter: and cassie

harley: probably asleep like normal ass people

lila b: lol wrong

harley: damn it

lila b: I was lurking this whole time 

wanda: she was waiting for the right time to join in

shuri: oh cool wanda’s here too!!!

wanda: :))

peter: the cult is almost ready 

cooper: I joined just to say   
cooper: WHAT THE FUCK PETER   
cooper: gn

peter: am I??? a joke to you???

shuri: yes 

peter: blocked 

shuri: wait no unblock me I have to say something 

peter: fine. what

shuri: bitch

peter: IF IT WERE NOT FOR THE LAWS OF THIS LAND

CASSIE: okay literally stfu im trying to sleep

harley: silence your phone bitch

CASSIE: I did,, except you guys are blowing up my phone so much it’s like a literal vibrator 

lila b: AKSKSKKSKD OMFG

wanda: GUYS IM CALLING THE FBI TO SNIPE ME IF I DON'T ACTUALLY DRINK BLEACH FIRST   
wanda: I AM DYING 

peter: holy shit what happened

wanda: I stepped on nate’s legos in the hallway i’m gonna kill myself my whole goddamn foot is gonna fall off   
wanda: catch me jumping off the roof right now

lila b: do a flip

wanda: got it

peter: and they say IM dramatic 

harley: y’all are too much

CASSIE: u love us tho

harley: yeah I guess

shuri: <3

 

PETER’S PHONE

mr. stark

peter: bitch i’ll literally stab you

peter: WAIT

peter: NO

peter: WRONG PERSON OH BOY

peter: SORRY MR STARK AKSKJS

mr. stark: peter what the hell

peter: im so sorry that was meant for shuri

mr. stark: why on earth would you want to stab shuri?

peter: uh oh would you look at the time gotta blast 

mr. stark: kid? 

mr. stark: PETER GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE

 

PETER’S PHONE

wifey

peter: SHURI HELP

peter: IM BOO BOO THE PHUCKING FOOL

peter sent a screenshot

wifey: lmao peter you dumbass

wifey: i’m actually crying that’s so funny 

peter: there is no where left for me to go, I must ascend into the astral plane

wifey: you’re so dramatic

peter: it’s only the truth

peter: I am gods mistake 

wifey: peter i love you but i’m so close to hauling my ass all the way to nyc right now just to beat you up

peter: square up shuri

peter: let’s go

wifey: i’m-

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

shuri sent a screenshot 

peter: SHURI NO  
peter: I TRUSTED YOU 

lila b: absolute dumassary

harley: can we get an f in the chat for peter

shuri: f

lila b: f

wanda: f 

CASSIE: f

cooper: f

peter: thanks guys 

cooper: shuri why is peters name in your phone “love of my life”

shuri: because he’s the love of my life 

peter: aweeee I knew you cared

shuri: no I don’t I hate you

peter: okay ouch

CASSIE: on a completely related note, should I buy a nespresso off amazon for 187 spicy dollarinos 

harley: how is that related??

CASSIE: it just is

wanda: I say do it

lila b: I agree,, gotta get that caffeine 

cooper: wait now I want one too

wanda: lila and cooper if we all split the cost we can get one and share it

CASSIE: damn I wish I had siblings to share a nespresso with 

peter: me too :(

harley: no u don’t 

shuri: no you don’t 

wanda: ^^^^

cooper: ^^^^

lila b: ^^^^^^

wanda: dw cassie i’ll bring it to new york so u can use it

CASSIE: thank you wanda you’re really out here doing the most 

cooper: okay anyways should we ask mom before we buy it??

lila b: no   
lila b: it’s our own money so she can’t tell us what to do with it

wanda: agree i’m buying it now  
wanda: y’all owe me 62 dollars each

cooper: yeet

 

LILA’S PHONE

the fam

dad: who the fuck bought a nespresso

big sis: oops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’ve been binge watching daredevil for the past four days wow matt murdock three heart eye emojis


	4. leave ur sibling rivalry out of the main chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lila and wanda think they can sing, shuri arrives, and clint is so done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this at 2am
> 
> i also had to write actual real scentences for this chapter so hopefully it’s not too bad

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

CASSIE: im boarding my flight now so I won’t have service see you guys in like six hours!!!

shuri: yay!!1!!1!1!1!2!2

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

harley: I love airports  
harley: did I ever tell you guys how much I fucking love airports because I do they’re so fun I just  
harley: my skin is cleared and my crops are watered every time I go to an airport

lila b: what,,, did I just witness

harley: did I mention I love airports 

lila b: YES  
lila b: LIKE EIGHT TIMES 

harley: I don’t like all of this negativity   
harley: so I will add that IM ON MY WAY TO NYC RN

peter: YES IM GONNA CRY IM SO EXCITED

harley: but first  
harley: gotta get me a grande pink drink with light ice and a vanilla cold brew 

shuri: both???

cooper: the mans has to get his caffeine somehow

shuri: you’re absolutely right i’m sorry

harley: yeah the cold brew is for now and the pink drink is for later on the plane when i’m bored I can occupy myself my fishing the strawberries out of my cup

shuri: I take it back

lila b: I-

peter: yanno what just let him do his thing  
peter: where’s wanda and cassie??

wanda: oh sorry im busy packing up the car because uhhhhh some of us decided not to help me

lila b: oops

wanda: …..

cooper: gotta blast I don’t wanna get my ass whooped lets go lila 

lila b: ugh fine

shuri: also cassie is on her flight right now so she doesn’t have service   
shuri: she texted the gc idk why I was the only one who responded

peter: wait i’m scrolling up  
peter: why did I miss that??

harley: anywho,, I am also boarding my plane see y’all in four hours!!!!!!!

shuri: I CAN'T WAIT

peter: AKSKSKKSKS

cooper: we probably won’t get there until tomorrow because we’re driving >:-(

peter: gross i’m sorry 

wanda: lila get your ass in the car right now so we can leave smh

lila b: sorry I was getting my phone charger 

cooper: excuses excuses 

lila b: :((

 

SHURI’S PHONE

t’chancla 

t’chancla: sister, get your stuff and get in the jet

t’chancla: now.

shuri: yeah yeah i’m coming don’t get your pantries in a twist

t’chancla: what?

t’chancla: did you say pantries?

shuri: nevermind,,,, i’m on my way

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

shuri: im on the jet!!!!  
shuri: i’ll be there in two hours!!!

peter: YES AHHHHHHH

lila b: we won’t be there until tomorrow :(((

shuri: ig we’ll just have fun without u then

lila b: shut your up

 

PETER’S PHONE

mr. stark

mr. stark: peter, shuri’s jet just landed come greet them

peter: YES

peter: HOLY SHIT

peter: AKSKJSJDJDJAKKSJSJSJEUAKHS DJD

peter: I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT 

peter: IM ON MY WAY 

peter: HRDHDKSHSKSHIANSHDN

mr. stark: oh my god calm down

peter: you don’t understand how much I cannot calm down

mr. stark: why do I even try, honestly 

peter: bc u love me 

mr. stark: yeah, I guess

peter: <33

 

Peter could barely contain his excitement as he raced down the hallway. He stopped in front of the elevator and pressed the ‘up’ button way too many times. The elevator arrived. Peter stepped in and quickly pressed the button for the roof. As soon as the elevator doors opened Peter was running again. When he got to the roof he spotted the sleek Wakandan jet on the other side of the strip. The doors of the jet opened and Peter spotted Shuri walking down the steps, T’Challa in tow.

“SHURI!” Peter yelled. Shuri looked up sharply and grinned.

“Peter!” Shuri promptly dropped her bags and sprinted towards her best friend. Peter started running to meet her in the middle. They collided in a huge hug. They stood there, hugging, for almost a minute before Tony said: “Alright kids, break it up. I’m sure T’Challa and Shuri are tired from their flight and would like to come inside now.” Peter and Shuri broke apart and grinned at each other. 

“I can’t believe you’re here!” Peter exclaimed as he and Shuri walked towards the elevator. Well, Peter sort of bounced up and down.

“Me neither! We are gonna have so much fun! Cassie and Harley should be here in about an hour.” Shuri replied. “Oh, and the Barton kids will be here tomorrow.”

“Hell yeah. We’re gonna pull the best pranks.”

“And movie nights! We definitely need to binge all the Star Wars movies.”

“Agreed”

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

peter sent a picture  
[It’s a selfie. Peter and Shuri are half hugging with their cheeks pressed together. They’re both smiling.]

peter: MY WIFE IS HERE

shuri: y’all better hurry up we’re having all the fun without you

harley: I JUST GOT OFF MY PLANE  
harley: I SHOULD BE THERE IN ABOUT TWO HOURS

peter: AHHHHHHHHHH

harley: AHHHHHHHHHHH

CASSIE: holy shit stop screaming  
CASSIE: also same,,, me and my dad just landed

lila b: *my dad and I

CASSIE: did   
CASSIE: did you just-  
CASSIE: I will END you if you correct me again

wanda: I hate all of you

shuri: where’s our mans cooper???

wanda: he gave up on life and embraced a temporary death

lila b: asleep like a little bitch

harley: wow okay  
harley: how long have you guys got 

wanda: about eight hours   
wanda: we’re in ohio rn 

peter: damn hurry up

lila b: fuck you peter 

peter: :(  
peter: actually you know what I deserved that

 

Cassie stepped off the airplane and into the tunnel. She was exhausted from her travel day and her backpack felt 800 times heavier than it was before she boarded her flight. 

“Come on, Peanut. Don’t go falling behind. We want to get to baggage claim before everyone else gets there.” Her dad said to her over his shoulder. Cassie just sighed and picked up her pace a little bit. As her and her dad arrived at baggage claim, something caught her eye at the next conveyor belt over. 

“Is that…” Cassie muttered to herself. “Harley?” she said a little louder. When he looked up, trying to find the source of the voice Cassie dropped her backpack.

“Harley!” She basically yelled while waving at the boy across the room. 

“Cassie!” Harley yelled back. He started walking towards her. Cassie did the same. 

“Harley! Oh my gosh it’s so good to see you again!” Cassie exclaimed as threw her arms around him in a big hug. Harley pulled back and grinned. 

“It’s good to see you too Cas! How are you?” 

“Exhausted.”

“You’ve got that right.” Harley replied. “Hey, do you want to get an Uber together? Seeing as we’re both going to the same place.”

“Yeah, that sounds great! Let me ask my dad, go get your bag, Harls.”

“Okay, I’ll meet you over there with your dad.” Cassie gave him a thumbs up and made her way back to her father.

“Dad?” Cassie asked. “Can Harley join our Uber? We’re all going to the same place.”

“I don’t see why not.” Scott replied. 

“Great!” Cassie grinned and turned around to see Harley making his way over. “My dad said it was fine.”

“Awesome.”

“Nice to see you again, Harley.” Scott said

“Likewise.” Harley smiled.

“Let’s get going before there’s a huge crowd at the passenger pickup area.” Scott said as he motioned for the two teens to follow him. Harley gave Cassie a sort of side hug as they walked. Scott looked back and smiled.

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy

CASSIE sent a picture   
[It’s a selfie. Cassie and Harley are in car together. They’re both smiling. Harley is flashing a peace sign while Cassie is doing a thumbs up]

CASSIE: guess who I found at the airport!!!

harley: we’re on our way!!! we’ll be there in 30 minutes

peter: YES IM SO READY 

shuri: peter and I are watching criminal minds and eating pop tarts   
shuri: hurry before they’re all gone 

cooper: im about to smash my head through the goddamn windshield 

harley: looks like cooper is back lmao

cooper: wanda and lila have been singing this dumbass song over and over again for the past 30 mins 

wanda: you sayyy you gotta girl

lila b: and how you want me how u want me when u gotta girl

cooper: yeah that’s the one 

shuri: omfg how has clint not literally shot you in the head with an arrow yet

wanda: idk what ur talking about,, our singing is so good

lila b: ^^^^

cooper: dad took his hearing aids out   
cooper: I almost thought he was gonna throw them out the window for a second there 

wanda: hEy

lila b: for reals though if I have to sit in this car another second I will kill my self 

wanda: you literally do not get to talk you got shotgun

cooper: ^^^^

peter: can y’all leave your sibling rivalry out of the main chat pls

CASSIE: seconded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact I was on google maps for a hot minute to figure out how far ohio was from new york and it’s about eight hours so the more you know I guess 
> 
> the song wanda and lila were singing is called the weekend by sza in case anyone was wondering
> 
> also, the fic that inspired this one is called Someone Revoke Their Internet Access by kamala_kahn_for_president,,, it’s way better than mine please go give it a read if you haven’t :)


	5. rip peter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> harley has a crush, peter doesn’t deserve rights, and someone should start paying cassie for her camera woman skills

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this at 3am i’m not joking 
> 
> also this is turning into an actual story?? with actual dialogue and paragraphs lmao what

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy

peter: when are you guys gonna be here   
peter: shuri and i are so bored we built a robot that’s only purpose is to sort skittles into their respective color piles

harley: what’s his name

shuri: jeniqua

harley: fantastic 

cooper: lmao  
cooper: also it’s been like an hour since we last talked I told you not until tomorrow

peter: awe man

CASSIE: HARLEY GET OFF YOUR PHONE WE’RE PULLING UP RIGHT NOW 

harley: oh shit gotta go

 

As soon as Peter and Shuri read Cassie’s text, they both jumped up and looked at each other.  
“They’re here!” Peter and Shuri yelled at the same time. 

“Race you!” Peter told Shuri as he took off down the hallway. She ran after him. They sprinted past Tony and T’Challa who were at the kitchen table having a riveting discussion about politics over a cup of coffee. 

“Should we-?” T’Challa started.

“Nah.” Tony replied. The two friends ran towards the elevator and stopped to press the ‘down’ button. Peter was bouncing on the balls of his feet. They got in the elevator and pressed the button labeled ‘Level 1’. The doors opened and Shuri ran out of the elevator with Peter not far behind. As they approached the big glass front doors of the Avengers Compound, they could see a silver Chevrolet pulling up.

“Why would anyone get a silver car? That’s the worst color of car.” Peter said to Shuri as they watched the car come down the long driveway.

“No way. What about green?” Shuri reasoned.

“Okay, green is the worst and silver is the second worst.” 

“I’m glad we figured that out.” Shuri said as she rolled her eyes. As soon as the car pulled up to where Shuri and Peter were standing, Cassie and Harley didn’t even wait for the car to be put in park before opening the door and jumping out.

“Guys, wait!” Scott yelled from inside of the car. They ignored him.

“Peter!” Cassie exclaimed and threw her arms around him. Harley gave Shuri a fist bump before pulling her into a hug. Cassie and Peter pulled back and grinned at each other. 

“It’s so good to see you!” Peter told Cassie. Cassie was about to answer, but Harley pushed her out of the way and pulled Peter into a hug.

“Ouch, Harls.” Cassie said. Cassie and Shuri embraced. After they were done hugging, the four teens stood in a circle. Scott could hear snippets of their conversation.

“-Star Wars-”

“-Sleepover-”

“-Shut up, Cassie-”

“Guys?” Scott tried to get their attention. “Guys!” The four friends turned around.

“Thank you!” Scott said. “I love standing in the middle of a driveway as much as the next guy, but we should go inside now. It’s getting kind of late.”

“Nine o’clock is not late, Dad.” Cassie argued.

“Whatever,” Scott rolled his eyes. “Inside you go. Shoo!” He said pushing the teens towards the front door. While Scott went to greet Tony and T’Challa, Peter and Shuri led their friends upstairs to Peter’s room. It was fairly big. Big enough to fit two queen sized air mattresses and a single air mattress, plus Peter’s queen bed which was pushed up against the wall on the far side of the room. 

“I’ve already set up sleeping arrangements because I’m just so nice.” Peter said.

“Um, WE set up the sleeping arrangements.” Shuri added.

“Who’s gonna sleep where?” Harley asked.

“Well, since you guys got here first, you get first dibs.” Shuri told them. Harley flopped down on the queen air mattress parallel to Peter’s bed.

“I’ll share this one with someone.” He stated. Cassie put her stuff down on the other queen air mattress that was perpendicular to Peter’s bed.

“I’ll share with someone on this mattress.” Cassie said.

“Great!” Peter said. He sat down on his bed. Shuri sat next to him and crossed her legs. 

“We should play truth or dare.” Shuri announced. Her friends just stared at her.

“Hey! I know it’s kind of a juvenile game, but I never got to play it when I was younger!”

“Truth or dare it is, then!” Cassie said. “Who wants to go first?”

“I will!” Shuri exclaimed. “Peter, truth or dare.” 

“Dare.”

“I dare you to…. Remake a vine with me in front of the adults.”

“Done. Which vine?” Shuri whispered in his ear. Peter grinned. 

“Cassie, Harley, bring your phones. You’re gonna want to record this.” Peter said mischievously. They made their way down to the kitchen where the adults were having a conversation about something. If Peter had to take a wild guess, he’d say it was boring. 

“Hey, kids.” Scott said as they walked in. 

“Hey!” Shuri said as she opened the fridge and pulled out a Coke. It was one of the mini ones, so she didn’t have that hard of a time chugging it all in one go. The adults watched her do this, confused. She then walked up to Peter, who had made his way across the room.

“Hey, Peter. You want some?” 

“This bitch empty. YEET!” Peter yelled as he chucked the empty soda can across the room. Scott looked very confused. T’Challa and Tony just looked exasperated. Cassie and Harley were laughing so hard their faces were red. Cassie saved that one to her Snapchat memories. That was one for the books.

“Okay, bye, Mr. Stark!” Peter waved and exited the kitchen with Cassie, Shuri, and Harley in tow. 

“That was so good!” Harley laughed. 

“Okay, Peter. Your turn.” Shuri told him as they got back to Peter’s room.

“Harley. Truth or dare?” He asked.

“Truth.”

“Who do you have a crush on?”

“Thor.” Harley said way too quickly. “I’m kidding.” He said after. But Peter was already taking out his phone. Harley knew exactly what he was going to do. Peter and Harley had a twenty second starting contest before Peter jumped off his bed, and took off down the hall, typing furiously. Shuri and Cassie shared a look. Cassie got her phone out and opened camera. The two girls followed them down the hallway. Harley was after him in a second and as soon as the got to the living room, Peter screamed as Harley full on dived at Peter and tackled him on to the couch. They both rolled off the couch and onto the ground.

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

peter: guys  
peter: harley has awksidjms,/&:&

lila b: what???

shuri: HARLEY JUST FUCKING MMA SMACKDOWNED PETER ON TO THE COUCH 

CASSIE: I WAS THERE CAN CONFIRM 

wanda: holy shit  
wanda: rip peter

cooper: what does harley have??

harley: HAHA   
harley: NO  
harley: nothing peter’s just being a little bitch 

lila b: kinda sus  
lila b: i don’t believe you

harley: understandable

peter: FUCK  
peter: THAT HURT 

harley: it’s what you deserve 

peter: i hate u

harley: love u too uwu

peter: no you don’t because you loveowie.’xnak 

CASSIE: he dead again

peter: STOP DOING THAT 

wanda: does harley??? have a crush??? owo

shuri: no comment ;)

peter: HARLEYHASACRUSHONTHOR

harley: PETER BENJAMIN PARKER

peter: and just like that I must take my leave

CASSIE: guys pray for peter

cooper: praying

 

Harley body slamming Peter on to the couch with Cassie filming and Shuri laying on the floor laughing was not was Tony was expecting to see when he walked into the living room at ten o’clock at night. He heard screaming, so of course he got up there as fast as he could. However, Tony was not prepared for the scene in front of him.

“Fuck!” Peter yelled as he rolled off the couch.

“Jesus Christ, Harley. That hurt!”

“Oh, stop whining. It didn’t hurt that bad.” Harley rolled his eyes. “Besides, you deserved it.”

“I did not! I was telling the truth!”

“I do NOT have a-“ Harley stopped talking when he saw Tony standing across the room, an exasperated look on his face. 

“Hey, Tony” Harley said, drawing the ‘hey’ out.

“What’s going on? Why is she filming?” Tony asked as he pointed at Cassie who was still filming with one hand while covering her mouth to keep from laughing with the other.

“Um… a wrestling match? For science purposes?” Harley tried.

“A wrestling match, for science purposes.” Tony echoed, uncertain. “Then why did you body slam Peter onto the couch? That’s definitely not a wrestling move. At least not one I know of.” At this point, Shuri was laughing so hard she was actually wheezing. Cassie was barely holding the camera still because Shuri was leaning on her shoulder for support.

“Why is this so funny?” Tony wondered. Peter just couldn’t hold it in anymore. Consequences be damned, Harley could suck it.

“HARLEY HAS A CRUSH ON THOR!” Peter yelled before immediately making his escape down the hallway. 

“PETER GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!” Harley yelled while running after him. Tony put his head in his hands and sighed.

“On the record, I’ve never seen Peter run faster.” Tony said before walking out of the room. Shuri and Cassie couldn’t hold it together anymore. They fell to the floor in a heap of laughter. Cassie stopped recording.

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy

harley: this just in: peter doesn’t deserve rights

peter: this is homophobia 

CASSIE: this is so entertaining 

shuri: agreed  
shuri: that was the funniest thing i’ve seen in a long time 

cooper: ??? you can’t just leave us hanging like that 

CASSIE sent a video 

wanda: im CACKLING OH MY FUCKING GOD

lila b: that made my day thanks guys 

harley: I hate all of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me what you think! 
> 
> next chapter: the barton kids!!!


	6. go to bed idiot bread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shuri is a bully, cooper is a bad driver, and cassie has a soccer game tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter isn’t as funny but I just had to get it out. the next one will be much better I promise :)

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

peter: i’m sick of being a functioning member of society   
peter: i’m gonna become a ninja turtle 

CASSIE: go to bed idiot bread

harley: cassie all of us are awake stfu

CASSIE: fite me

shuri: harley doesn’t get to fight anyone anymore bc of earlier

harley: not fair  
harley: I hope u d i e

 

Shuri picked up one of her pillows and threw it across the bed at Harley, hitting Peter—who was sitting up next to her on Peter’s bed—in the face with her arm in the process. 

“Ow! Shuri!” Peter exclaimed, rubbing his cheek

“Yeah, Ow, Shuri!” Harley said in mock offense. Shuri just rolled her eyes even though it was dark and no one could see her. 

“I could feel the eye roll from here” Cassie said.

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

lila b: I long for the sweet release of death

peter: I mean,,, same  
peter: but any particular reason why 

lila b: ive been lying awake in this hotel room for three hours now and wanda kicks in her sleep  
lila b: we’re sharing a bed

harley: i know how you feel   
harley: condolences

lila b: thank you comrade 

cooper: you’re awake too?

lila b: yeah :(

cooper: wanna commandeer the car and go get snacks

lila b: it’s 1am

cooper: your point?

lila b: you’re absolutely right i’m sorry

cooper: get ur shoes on, i’ll find the keys 

peter: speaking of snacks,,,,  
peter: I want snack

shuri: then get some yourself bitch you know where they are u basically live here 

peter: i’m,,,, feeling attacked 

shuri: good

 

“Stop bullying me, Shuri.” Peter said as he turned his head to face her. She looked back.

“No.” 

“Guys shut up.” Harley said from the floor.

“That’s bold coming from you, Mr. Shut The Fuck Up Cassie, We’re All Awake.” Cassie said in a very bad impression of Harley’s voice.

“Is that really what I sound like?” Harley wondered.

“Yes.” Peter and Shuri said at the same time.

“Jinks!” Shuri said and gave Peter a light punch in the face.

“Shuri what the fuck. Stop hitting me, that’s not how ‘jinks’ works!” Peter exclaimed.

“Guys seriously, stop talking. I have a soccer game tomorrow.” Cassie said in a fake, whiny voice. Everyone started laughing.

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

cooper: lila hurry the fuck up 

lila b: sorry it’s hard to put on your shoes in the dark

cooper: i’ve got the keys and my wallet   
cooper: grab the room key and meet me at the elevator

lila b: affirmative 

peter: damn now I really wish I had siblings   
peter: shuri come get snacks with me

shuri: no

 

Lila slid her sneakers on her feet, grabbed her wallet and phone, and slowly closed the hotel room door behind her. She made her way down the hallway and to the elevator. She saw her brother sitting on a bench at the end of the four elevator.

“Shall we?” She asked.

“We shall.” Cooper answered. The two siblings took the elevator to the parking garage floor. 

“Lila go on google maps and find the closest gas station.” Cooper said as he started the car. Lila took out her phone and promptly started searching.

“Here’s a Seven Eleven. It’s a half a mile away.” She informed him.

“Sounds good.” Cooper responded. Cooper pulled out of the parking garage and on to the street.

“Please don’t get us in a crash, Cooper.”  
Lila said to her brother.

“Okay, I’m not THAT bad of a driver.” Cooper said, offended 

“Eh.”

“I’d like to see you drive, Lila.”

“I can’t. That’s illegal, I only have my permit and you’re not over twenty one.” 

“Semantics.” Cooper said.

“I really don’t think that’s what that word means.” Lila said back. As she said that, they arrived at their destination. The siblings got out of the car and walked into the gas station.

“I always feel like I’m gonna get murdered in gas stations.” Lila said.

“Yeah, gas stations are on the list of places where reality is a bit altered.” Cooper said, nodding.

“You’ve got that right.” Lila said as she selected a a bag of gummy bears. 

“Should we call Wanda and ask her if she wants something?” Cooper asked.

“Is she even awake?” 

“Speak of the devil,” Cooper said, pulling out his phone.

 

COOPER’S PHONE

pictochat

magic sis: guys where are you

cooper: we’re at a gas station getting snacks 

magic sis: oh thank our lord and savior jesus christ 

magic sis: I woke up and u were gone and I was like oh no they got kidnapped 

cooper: nah we’re fine

cooper: do u want a snack 

magic sis: yeah can I get a box of white cheddar cheez-it’s 

little sis: u got it uwu

little sis: is dad awake??

magic sis: no but he will be soon

magic sis: hurry up

cooper: got it 

 

Lila grabbed a red Gatorade out of the freezer section while Cooper got Wanda her Cheez-its and got himself Pringle’s, Chocolate milk, and one of those Starbucks freezer drinks. They paid for their food and drove back to the hotel. They got back to their room without a hitch. Clint was still asleep but Wanda was sitting on her bed waiting for them.

“Nice to have you back.” She said upon their arrival.

“Fuck off, Wanda. I got you coffee and Cheez-its.” Cooper said as he tossed wanda her food. She caught them and opened her coffee. 

“I guess none of us are sleeping tonight.” Lila said as she opened her back of gummy bears.

“Eh, Sleep is for losers.” Wanda reasoned.

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

CASSIE: guys everyone except me is asleep and i’m bored.

CASSIE sent a picture  
[It was of Peter, Harley, and Shuri sleeping. Peter and Shuri were in Peter’s bed. Shuri was lying on her stomach with her arms and legs spread out starfish style on the bed. Peter was half hanging off the bed. He was almost on top of Harley who was sleeping on the air mattress next to Peter’s bed.]

lila b: lmaooooo peter’s gonna fall

cooper: make sure to capture that moment when it happens

CASSIE: will do  
CASSIE: you guys can’t sleep either??

wanda: nah   
wanda: we got snacks and coffee it’s stay up all night hours 

CASSIE: nice   
CASSIE: when will you be here tomorrow?

lila b: my dad said around four o’clock

CASSIE: ugh that’s so long smh

cooper: yeah ikr i’m suing

wanda: guys dads waking up we gotta go

CASSIE: oof good luck

lila b: thank you uwu

 

“Where did you guys get food from?” Clint asked as he sat up in bed.

“Uhhhh, gas station?” Wanda said, but it sounded more like a question.

“And you didn’t get me anything?”

“Oops?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> it clears my skin and waters my crops everytime I get a comment so pls, comment :) I love hearing what you have to say


	7. the cult is almost complete

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shuri is having a heart attack, lila brought 12 tech decks, and cassie really likes bagels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter!! as always, enjoy!

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

peter: ew cassie did u really send a picture of us sleeping 

CASSIE: ;)

shuri: cassie is no longer part of the family  
shuri: disowned

CASSIE: :(

shuri: peter where are u

peter: kitchen 

shuri: no you’re fucking not I was just in there  
shuri: where are u peter 

peter: in the kitchen!!!! it’s not like I went all the way to scotland without telling anyone just to pet the loch ness monster and then finding out he’s not real and crying

lila b: thats,,, very specific 

peter: what’s it to you

CASSIE: well someone’s in a bad mood

shuri: peter for reals where are you

peter: i’m  
peter: in   
peter: the  
peter: kitchen 

shuri: no yourbeukdjd

wanda: oh my fucking god she fucking dead

harley: shuri are you okay I heard a scream

shuri: IM HAVING A HEART ATTACK

cooper: holy shit what happened

shuri: PETER IS ON THE FUCKING CEILING

harley: omfg peter get down we talked about this 

shuri: IM GONNA CALL AN EXORCIST HOLY FUCK  
shuri: LITERALLY LOOKED LIKE THE MOM FROM THE CONJURING  
shuri: my heart will never recover from that

CASSIE: IM YELLING PETER OMFG

peter: oops?

“Thanks for giving me a fucking heart attack.” Shuri said to Peter as he climbed down off the ceiling.

“I’m so sorry. I thought you knew I could do that!” Peter said to Shuri.

“I did! I just didn’t expect to see you on the ceiling in the kitchen at nine a.m.!” Shuri exclaimed. Peter at least had the decency to look ashamed. 

“Whoops.” He said as he slowly got a cereal bowl from the cabinet.

“Well, as payment for giving me fucking heart problems at age sixteen, you can make me cereal and coffee.” Shuri said to Peter as she crossed her arms.

“Fine.” Peter said, grabbing another bowl for Shuri. “Lucky Charms, right?”

“You know it!”

“Okie dokie. One bowl of Lucky Charms and an iced coffee coming right up.” Peter said as he poured cereal into the bowl. He then turned on the coffee maker and let it brew while he poured the milk for his and Shuri’s cereal.

“One iced coffee and a bowl of Lucky Charms for m’lady.” Peter said as he presented Shuri with her breakfast.

“Thank you, sir.” Shuri said in a really bad and exaggerated british accent.

“Nope, please stop.” Peter groaned. Shuri whacked him over the head. 

“Stop hitting me! HARLEY, CASSIE, WAKE UP SHURI IS BULLYING ME AGAIN!” Peter yelled.

“Oh my god, Peter! You’re going to wake up everyone in the tower!” Shuri exclaimed.

“Listen to this.” Peter said, leaning in close to Shuri so their cheeks were almost touching. His hands out in front of him for effect. “I…don’t care.” 

“Oh fuck off!” Shuri said, and shoved Peter off of his bar stool. Just then, Harley walked into the kitchen.

“Good morning.” He said, grabbing a mug and pouring coffee into it, and chugging the entire mug of scalding hot coffee before filling it up again. This time, he sipped it like a normal person. Peter and Shuri looked at each other and shrugged.

“What are you staring at me for?” Harley wondered.

“It’s nothing. Where’s Cassie?” Shuri asked.

“Oh, she’s still asleep.”

“And you didn’t wake her up?” Peter added

“I don’t have a death wish!” Harley said, throwing his hands up.

“Eh, debatable.” Peter said. He took out his phone.

 

PETER’S PHONE

cassie

peter: cassie wake the fuck up

cassie: no fuck off

peter: I have coffee 

peter: and bagels

peter: i’ll make you a bagel?

cassie: mayhaps

peter: it’s a blueberry bagel with cream cheese?

cassie: im coming now

peter: :)

 

“She’s on her way, but only because I’m making her a bagel.” Peter said to the others 

“Of course she is.” Shuri said, rolling her eyes. Cassie entered the kitchen with her hair in a bun and murder in her eyes. Peter handed her the bagel he made.

“Please don’t kill me, I made you a bagel.” He said. Cassie simply gave him a weak smile and sat down to eat.

“Okay I think I’m in the clear.” Peter said, relieved. 

 

SNAPCHAT

absolutely anarchy 

lila b: 20 minutes

cooper: 20 minutes

wanda: 20 minutes 

CASSIE: holy shit guys 20 minutes

shuri: omg 20 minutes 

harley: 20 minutes!!

peter: what’s in 20 minutes 

wanda: WE’LL BE HERE IN 20 MINUTES

peter: HOLY FUCK 20 MINUTES UNTIL THE CULT IS BACK TOGETHER

harley: LIKE THE JONAS BROTHERS BUT BETTER!!!!

shuri: HELL YEAH A PARTY

wanda: I BROUGHT THE NESPRESSO!!!

CASSIE: wanda I love you more than anyone else

wanda: :)))))

lila b: I brought 12 tech decks

cooper: ??? why??

lila b: for science

shuri: I have osteoporosis 

peter: I put a whole bag of jelly beans up my ass

wanda: *whispering* what the f u c k

CASSIE: well mark me down as scared and horny

harley: nope cassie has to go  
harley: throw the whole person away

CASSIE: eh i’m not even mad

lila b: MOM DID YOU TAKE MY JUUL

peter: I HAD TO   
peter: YOURE ADDICTED

lila b: ARE YOU KIDDING ME  
lila b: YOURE A WHORE

peter: YOU DON'T MEAN THAT

cooper: oh my god help

lila b: YES I DO  
lila b: IT WAS $60 AND IT WAS TUTTI FRUITY

harley: I hated that   
harley: please never reference tik tok again or i’ll throw u out the window

lila b: noted

peter: i’d want that

cooper: guys

wanda: guys

lila b: guys  
lila b: WE’RE HERE

peter: ASKEKSKSJDKFKF  
peter: COMING NOW LETS GO SCOOBY GANG

 

Cassie, Peter, Harley, and Shuri raced down the hallway to the elevator, almost crashing into each other the entire way down. They ran out onto the front lawn just in time to see Clint’s car pulling up. The Barton kids got out of the car and ran to greet their friends. The girls screamed and collided in a huge group hug. Clint just shook his head fondly and walked inside. Cooper gave Peter and Harley a hug before prying Wanda and Lila off of Shuri and Cassie so he could hug them too. 

“Awe, my baby brother!” Wanda said as she hugged Peter tightly. 

“Wanda, you’re going to crush my ribs. Also, I’m only a year younger than you.” Peter said. Wanda let him go and ruffled his hair. 

“Oh, I almost forgot!” Wanda said, running back to the car. She came back with a big silver coffee maker. “For you, Cassie.” Wanda handed the Nespresso machine to Cassie.

“Holy shit! This is the best day of my life! I get to use a Nespresso for a whole week!” Cassie said excitedly. 

“I feel like she’s way too excited about that.” Cooper said.

“Nope. Her excitement is completely valid.” Lila countered.

“Come on guys, we can go to my room so you can put your stuff down.” Peter said and motioned for his friends to follow him. The seven teens made their way up to Peter’s room. 

“Peter and Shuri are sharing Peter’s bed, someone can share with me, and someone can share with Cassie.” Harley explained.

“I’ll share with you.” Cooper said.

“I’ll share with Cassie!” Lila said quickly. “Sorry, Wanda. You kick.” 

“Touche. I’ll take the single air mattress.” Wanda set her backpack down on the bed. 

“Now that we’ve got that settled,” Lila said, rubbing her hands together. “Let’s create some chaos.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on tik tok 
> 
> just kidding, I don’t make tik toks but you can follow me on tumblr if you’d like. my user is i_committed_tax_fraud (I don’t know how to link things)
> 
> if you liked it, or you have a suggestion for me please let me know in the comments, they always make me smile :)
> 
> until next time,  
> Eliza


	8. my joints are like rice krispies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> harley misses his ipod, peter can dance, and nobody cares that clint is hawkeye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m back bitches
> 
> sorry I haven’t updated in a couple of days, i’ve been really busy 
> 
> I also saw far from home!!!! and I just gotta say, uhhhhh 10/10 go see it if you haven’t (also pls no spoilers in the comments for people who haven’t seen it yet)
> 
> as always, enjoy :)

IMPORTANT NOTE PLEASE READ  
hi everyone! i’m going camping on sunday and will be there until next saturday so I won’t be able to update for the whole week. I have half a chapter written right now so I might get it up today or tomorrow. If not, i’ll update as soon as I get back! that’s all for now, enjoy this chapter :)

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

harley: i miss my fuckin ipod nano

lila b: my joints are like rice krispies

peter: how??

lila b: snap crackle pop

peter: ah yes

shuri: who wants to watch buzzfeed unsolved with me

wanda: hell yeah let’s go

cooper: all hail the watcher yanno

 

SNAPCHAT

CASSIE added hawkeye  
CASSIE added scott  
CASSIE added peter  
CASSIE added shuri  
CASSIE added wanda  
CASSIE added lila b  
CASSIE added harley  
CASSIE added cooper

peter: cassie we’re all sitting next to each other why did u make this

CASSIE: for emergencies

hawkeye: why am I here

lila b: dad change ur name nobody cares that ur hawkeye 

hawkeye: hey! rude.

cooper: dad we all know u used to climb around in the vents stfu

shuri: omfg what

hawkeye: who told you

wanda: we were being really annoying and tony was so fed up with us that he told us that to get us to go away 

peter: lmao yeah I remember that  
peter: wait I have to add him 

peter added tony stark

tony stark: what is this  
tony stark: wait im scrolling up   
tony stark: eh, guilty  
tony stark: also, change your name clint 

hawkeye: FUCK

CASSIE: this is the best im so glad I made this

scott: hey guys!

peter: hi mr ant man 

scott: peter i’ve told you to call me scott

peter: no can do mr lang sorry

tony stark: i’ve been trying to get him to call me tony for years. it won’t work

lila b: dad change your name 

hawkeye: we’re still on this???

cooper: yes 

hawkeye: fine

hawkeye changed their name to clint

clint: happy?

wanda: yes thank u 

lila b: he was a traitor joe she said see you later joe

CASSIE: LMFAO WHAT

wanda: *crying* avril?? is that you???

tony stark: what is happening 

clint: I just block it out 

harley: hey guys?

lila b: yeah?

harley: yanno when you shake when you’re cold

peter: yes??

harley: that’s actually your skeleton trying to escape

cooper: hi yeah what the fuck

clint: language

tony stark: ew you sound like cap

lila b: yeah also you just said the fuck word like two seconds ago

lila b sent a screenshot

clint: busted

harley: oh yeah also some fish can walk out of water   
harley: so remember that next time 

scott: why do I feel threatened right now

CASSIE: harley are u okay

harley: no 

CASSIE: understandable, have a nice day

harley: thank u 

shuri: wait guys!! we don’t have a name for this chat!!!

wanda renamed chat 69

shuri: nice

peter: nice

harley: nice

CASSIE: nice

cooper: nice

lila b: nice

tony stark: nope  
tony stark: change it

peter: mr stark ur no fun :(

peter renamed chat this is sparta

peter: better??

tony stark: yes

peter: :)))

tony stark: now go to sleep

peter: no 

 

“Guys?” Cooper said to no one in particular. “Wake up.”

“No fuck you, Cooper.” Lila said as she pulled the blanket over her head.

“Hey! You took all the blankets!” Cassie pulled the blankets back from Lila.

“Way to go, Cooper. Now we’re all awake.” Shuri said.

“You can’t even be mad at me, it’s ten fourty five.” Cooper said in defense.

“Wait guys, where’s Peter?” Harley asked.

“Yeah you’re right,” Wanda added. “Where is Peter?”

“Maybe he died.” Cassie said. Everyone gave her a look. “What?”

“Maybe he went to the gym. He does that sometimes because he’s boring.” Shuri reasoned.

“Okay, let’s check there first since it’s on the way to the kitchen.” Lila said and walked out of the room towards the elevator, motioning for her friends to follow her. As they got closer to the gym, they could hear classical music coming from that general direction.

“Who’s playing a piano in the gym?” Harley wondered.

“No one is playing piano, stupid. There’s classical music coming from the gym.” Shuri supplied.

“But why?” Cooper asked. “There’s no one in there.”

“Let’s go in and see.” Lila said. Upon entering the gym, the teens realized that there was, in fact, no one in there. 

“Wait,” Wanda said. She held up her hands in a signal to stop. “It’s coming from over there.” She pointed at a glass door all the way on the far side of the gym. The friends made their way over to the door. Since it was glass, they could see everything that was happening inside. 

“Is that… Peter?” Cassie wondered out loud. “Doing ballet? With the Black Widow?”

“Is this a dream? Am I dreaming?” Cooper said.

“Guys he’s actually really good.” Shuri said.

“You didn’t know about this?” Cassie asked Shuri.

“Nope.”

“Guys be quiet I want to hear what they’re saying.” Harley said. They leaned closer to the door. They could see Peter standing at the bar with Natasha in front of him, facing him.

“Full extension.” Natasha said to Peter. He lifted his leg up towards his head. 

“Now, on relevé.” Peter raised his foot so he was standing on the ball of his foot. “Good.” The pair moved to the middle of the room.

“First arabesque.” Natasha said. Peter leaned forwards and stretched his leg out behind him. 

“Sauté , first position, second position.” Peter did a couple little jumps. “Changement, fifth position.” This time, Peter switched his feet as he jumped.

“Okay, let’s do across the floor.” Peter and Natasha moved to the far side of the room. So far, they hadn’t noticed the teens pressed up against the door.

“Two chaîné turns, high, low, then a calypso.” Natasha instructed. Peter did this all the way across the room. “Left side!” Natasha called from the other side of the room. When Peter got back to the other side, Natasha whispered something in his ear. Peter looked up with wide eyes to see his friends at the door on the other side. 

“Oh shit I think he sees us.” Cassie said. He did, in fact, see them. Peter took off his slippers and walked up to the door, Natasha in tow. 

“Guys! What are you doing here?” Peter asked.

“You weren’t there when we woke up so we were looking for you. Shuri said you might be in the gym but we heard music coming from here so, here we are” Lila explained. 

“Peter, you’re really good!” Shui exclaimed. Peter blushed.

“Tasha!” Everyone turned around to see Steve Rogers aka Captain America standing in the middle of the gym.

“I’ve gotta go. Good job, Peter. See you later.” Natasha said as she walked over to Steve.

“What the fuck.” Cooper said.

“You’ve got that right.” Harley pulled out his phone. 

 

SNAPCHAT 

this is sparta 

harley: y’all it’s story time  
harley: okay so none of us could find peter this morning and cassie was like oh boy maybe he died but shuri said maybe he went to the gym so we went there and didn’t see him but there was classical music coming from another room connected to the gym so we go in and peter is doing ballet with natasha romanoff aka the black widow???

tony stark: a riveting retelling of this mornings events

shuri: we did not know that peter did ballet!!  
shuri: peter why didn’t you fucking tell me i’m your best friend bitch i’ve known u longer than everyone else here except tony

peter: it never came up in conversation!!!

CASSIE: he’s actually really good!

peter: awe no way

lila b: it’s true!

tony stark: yes he is very good  
tony stark: nat gives him lessons  
tony stark: sometimes they put on recitals for the rest of us without knowing

cooper: how would they not know??

tony stark: we make friday give us the video feed of the dance studio

peter: wait what   
peter: that’s not fair :(  
peter: im telling nat

tony stark: you better not kid  
tony stark: you’re on thin fucking ice buddy  
tony stark: also how come she gets to be nat and i’m still mr stark

peter: because :(

tony stark: ???

peter: because she broke into my apartment at 3am and told me to call her nat

clint: yeah she does that

wanda: I love her omg icon

CASSIE: me too we have no other option but to stan

peter: wait i’ll add her

clint: maybe that’s not the best idea

peter added natasha

natasha: peter

peter: nat!! it’s a group chat!!!

natasha: I realize that

clint: hey nat

natasha: hi clint

lila b: aunt nat!!

natasha: are you all here?

cooper: yes

wanda: yes

natasha: hello

peter: nat, tony said that sometimes he pulls up the video feed and watches us dance without us knowing

natasha: hmmm interesting

tony stark: peter I trusted you!!

peter: no you didn’t 

tony stark: yeah ur right I didn’t

shuri: oof 

tony stark: HOLY SHIT  
tony stark: HOW DID YOU GET HERE THAT FAST

natasha: super secret spy, remember?

tony stark: and suddenly i have to leave 

harley: uh oh rip tony

scott: it was nice knowing u 

peter: okay guys he’s gone we can do whatever we want 

scott: clint and I are still here??

CASSIE: you don’t count

scott: :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw that video of tom holland doing ballet a while ago so naturally this chapter happened
> 
> my ballet teacher always makes fun of me because i can never remember the names of certain moves lmao I barely passed that part of my pointe test oops I hope I didn’t spell anything wrong
> 
> as I said at the beginning of this chapter, I won’t be able to update until next saturday or sunday because I won’t have service but i’ll try to get another chapter up tonight just for you guys
> 
> if you like it, pls comment! I love hearing what you have to say!
> 
> see you next time,  
> Eliza


	9. a blender, cassie???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter and lila have no money, harley’s choice of food is boring, and cassie wants a blender

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my last update until I go away for a week! Sorry it’s shorter, I wrote this one on my phone.
> 
> enjoy <3

SNAPCHAT

this is sparta

peter: i want mini m&m’s so badly 

lila b: omfg same 

tony stark: go buy some then

peter: im very small and have no money 

lila b: can you imagine the kind of stress that we’re under?!!

tony stark: they’re literally $1 each i’ll give you money

peter: omg really???  
peter: LILA WE’RE GONNA GET OUR M&M’S 

lila b: AHHHHHHHHH  
lila b: LETS GOOOOOO

 

SNAPCHAT 

absolute anarchy 

lila b: peter and I are going to the store does anyone want anything 

shuri: a will to live

harley: my childhood 

wanda: for my brother to be alive

cooper: my innocence 

CASSIE: a blender

peter: y’all are so emo omfg I mean like food-wise  
peter: lila and I are getting mini m&m’s 

lila b: a blender cassie??

CASSIE: yeah a blender

lila b: why???

CASSIE: because I don’t have one 

lila b: first a nespresso and now a blender?? why do you want kitchen appliances so badly 

CASSIE: leave me alone

peter: ,,,, okay cassie wants a blender,,, who else??

wanda: i’d like orange juice  
wanda: a gallon of it

cooper: can I have that big carton of goldfish 

shuri: five packages of cookie dough 

harley: a box of triscuits 

peter: that’s it???

harley: yeah

peter: why triscuits those are so boring 

harley: stop questioning my choices you’re making me uncomfy 

lila b: okay so let’s go over this again  
lila b: cassie wants a blender?? harley wants triscuits, cooper wants the big carton of goldfish, shuri wants five packets of cookie dough, and wanda wants a gallon of orange juice 

CASSIE: yeah I think that’s all

lila b: lmao okay we’ll be back in a bit   
lila b: lets go peter

peter: sorry i’m busy stealing mr starks keys

lila b: didn’t he give you money??  
lila b: why didn’t you ask for the keys then?

peter: I forgot and I don’t wanna go all the way back up there 

shuri: you’re a disaster 

peter: stfu  
peter: gottem

lila b: finally  
lila b: I hope you’re a better driver than cooper

cooper: hey im a good driver 

lila b: eh

cooper: shut your up lila i’ll literally eat your airpods

lila b: sorry I can’t hear you with my airpods in

cooper: I hate you

“Peter hurry the fuck up.” Lila called as she got in the passenger seat of the car.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m coming.” He replied. He put the keys in the ignition and backed out of the garage. 

“Where are we going?” Lila said. “Like, I know we have to get food, but where are we gonna get food and a blender?” 

“Target.” Peter said, as a matter of fact.

“You’re absolutely right. Let’s go, I love Target.” Lila said. Peter pulled up the directions for Target on his phone and soon the pair were on their way. They got there without a hitch (except that Peter definitely ran a stop sign but they don’t talk about that). Peter parked the car and got out. He and Lila walked into Target with a mission. 

“Where’s the blender section?” Peter asked.

“I don’t think they have a section just for blenders. Maybe just a general kitchen appliance aisle?” Lila reasoned.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” They headed over toward the section that said ‘Home’. They found a shelf that had a wide selection of blenders

“Here’s a nice one!” Lila said, holding up a small blue blender. 

“What about this one, though.” Peter held up a red one.

“I’ll ask her.” Lila took out her phone.

 

LILA’S PHONE

cassie uwu

lila sent two photos

lila: which one??

cassie uwu: the blue one

lila: u got it!!

cassie uwu: thanks babe

lila: np 

lila: im happy to buy you kitchen appliances with tony starks money 

cassie uwu: omg get u a womans who buys u blenders

lila: omg ikr

 

“She says blue.” Lila told Peter. 

“Awesome.” Peter tossed the blender into the cart. “Next up, goldfish and triscuits.” The two friends went to the grocery section of the Target. They found a big carton of goldfish for Cooper and a box of triscuits for Harley.

“We should go to the refrigerator section, we need orange juice and cookie dough.” Lila said, pointing to the row of freezers and refrigerated shelves lining the wall. Peter grabbed a big gallon of orange juice for Wanda and Lila got five packets of cookie dough for Shuri.

“Let’s go check out. I saw mini m&m’s by the checkout station when we walked in.” Peter suggested.

“All this for some m&m’s” Lila said as they walked.

“Worth it though.” Peter paid for their things using Tony’s credit card and the pair made their way back to the car. They put the bags in the back and soon they were on their way home. Peter parked the car in the garage. Before he got out, he texted the group chat. He and Lila sat in the car as they ate their m&m’s. 

“All’s well that ends well.” Peter said. Lila just looked at him.

“I don’t even really know what that means.” She replied.

“Me neither, to be honest.” Peter admitted.

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

peter: come get your shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Target
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this short little chapter :)
> 
> until next week,  
> Eliza


	10. why are you like this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the kids love abba, shuri is mad, and t’challa does not want to be there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM BACK
> 
> this chapter is shorter but I made myself laugh while writing it so I hope you guys laugh too :)
> 
> enjoy!

SNAPCHAT

this is sparta 

wanda: abba slaps so hard 

peter: omfg ikr   
peter: super trooper is my favorite song ever 

lila b: I like waterloo

cooper: my personal fave is dancing queen

wanda: oh yeah we love a classic

shuri: I really like lay all your love on me 

lila b: I like that one too!! probably my second fave 

CASSIE: I like when I kissed the teacher 

peter: okay I see you

harley: I love take a chance on me 

cooper: what i’m hearing is that we need to have an abba dance party right now

peter: this is the only thing i’ve ever wanted in my entire life let’s go im so ready  
peter: everyone meet in my room I have snacks and a speaker,,, someone grab the pop tarts from the kitchen

lila b: I gottem

shuri: on my way

 

SNAPCHAT

this is sparta 

tony stark: oh my god they’re so loud

clint: is that abba I hear?

tony stark: yes

scott: I love abba! mama mia is my favorite movie ever

clint: ever?

scott: ever.

tony stark: that says a lot about you

scott: im not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

shuri: we should add my brother to this is sparta 

harley: t’challa?

shuri: no my other brother

peter: why??

shuri: because he’ll hate it

lila b: in that case, do it

 

SNAPCHAT

this is sparta 

shuri added t’challa

t’challa: shuri, why am I here

shuri: FUN

t’challa: ew

shuri: whatever   
shuri: I got a new nintendo switch it’s so sexy

peter: wig? snatched 

wanda: oh worm?

t’challa: I speak 35 languages and this is none of them  
t’challa: can I leave 

shuri: no

CASSIE: stay   
CASSIE: or else

t’challa: fine.

cooper: we’ve gottem scooby gang 

harley: yeet

 

SNAPCHAT

this is sparta

shuri: PETER IM DIVORCING YOU

peter: IT WASNT MY FAULT  
peter: YOU TRY CATCHING SOMETHING THATS FALLING OUT OF THE 30TH FLOOR OF A BUILDING

tony stark: what the hell happened  
tony stark: I hear screaming and I really don’t want to come up there  
tony stark: all I need to know is that nobody is dying

shuri: oh peter’s about to be 

harley: be what

shuri: DEAD  
shuri: PETER IS ON THIN FUCKING ICE RIGHT NOW

peter: mr stark help!!!

tony stark: honestly it sounds like you deserved it 

peter: wow okay BETRAYAL thanks a lot dad  
peter: FUCK  
peter: I mean ***thanks a lot man   
peter: haha autocorrect 

CASSIE: sounds very fake but okay

tony stark: peter do you see me as a father figure?

peter: lol no   
peter: if anything I see you as a bother figure because you’re always bothering me

wanda: hey show ur father some respect!!1!1!2

peter: I’m being bullied :(  
peter: on another note  
peter: does anyone want me to NOT die????

CASSIE: eh 

lila b: lol kind of but also this is funny

cooper: ur on ur own sorry

wanda: good luck lol

peter: I hate all of you

clint: wait what happened?  
clint: did anyone explain?

shuri: HERES WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED

t’challa: can you stop cursing?

shuri: no  
shuri: why did we add him again??

wanda: because you said he would hate it

shuri: oh yeah   
shuri: also stop interrupting me

t’challa: why are you like this

shuri: because I hate peter and here’s why

peter: SHURI NO IT WASNT MY FAULT   
peter: I LOVE YOU

shuri: PETER DROPPED MY NINTENDO SWITCH OUT THE WINDOW  
shuri: MY BRAND NEW ONE

scott: how does that even happen?

peter: I DID NOT

shuri: YES YOU DID 

peter: I WAS HOLDING IT AND THE WINDOW IN MY ROOM JUST HAPPENED TO BE OPEN 

clint: how did it fall out of the window if you were just holding it?

peter: HARLEY FUCKING PUSHED ME 

shuri: HARLEY

harley: oh no

wanda: oh my fucking god he’s fucking dead

harley: b*tch

wanda: why’d u sensor it

harley: because it’s a bad fucking word

cooper: valid

t’challa: seriously why is everyone cursing 

lila b: the next person who says a bad word dies on impact

wanda: heck

lila b: you’re on thin fucking ice  
lila b: wait  
lila b: oh no

shuri: CAN WE PLEASE GET BACK TO MY NINTENDO

harley: nope i’m leaving 

shuri: oh no you’re not 

peter: lol good luck

shuri: why do you think you’re free, peter?

lila b: oh no she used punctuation  
lila b: run while you still can

shuri: im about to commit murder

peter: I leave all my tech to mr stark, all my money to the barton kids and my really cool rock collection to natasha   
peter: goodbye cruel world

cooper: oh boy I can’t wait to get a whopping two dollars

natasha: thank you peter  
natasha: you will be missed

peter: okay now you join?? right when i’m about to die??

natasha: yes

peter: okay valid  
peter: also stfu cooper no one likes you

cooper: bold words from a man who’s about to die

peter: >:-(

 

SNAPCHAT

this is sparta

CASSIE: sorry guys I was making a smoothie with my new blender what did I miss

lila b: oh boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love abba omfg
> 
> I was too lazy to write actual dialogue for this chapter but I kind of want to write the dance party scene so let me know in the comments if you guys want a bonus chapter of the abba dance party and I shall deliver 
> 
> see you later,  
> Eliza


	11. they can’t stop us all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> harley does NOT have a boyfriend, thor is actually pikachu, and everyone in the chat is on crack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good morning vietnam
> 
> tis I, back with another chapter :)
> 
> as always, enjoy!!

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

harley: do you ever just wanna die

CASSIE: every day

lila b: barley u good??  
lila b: ***harley lmao whoops

shuri: BARLEY  
shuri: IM YELLING  
shuri: THATS YOUR NEW CONTACT NAME IN MY PHONE

harley: i hate you so much

shuri: u love me 

harley: no

 

SNAPCHAT

this is sparta

CASSIE: guys help

harley: tf do you need

CASSIE: idk how to use the microwave it’s really fancy and confusing 

peter: lmao my alien that I stole from area 51 waking me up in the middle of the night asking me how to use the microwave 

CASSIE: hey :( it’s just confusing don’t make fun of me

peter: okay sorry i’ll come help you

harley: phat mood

tony stark: your alien?

peter: yes

tony stark: that you stole from area 51? 

peter: uh yeah can’t you read??

shuri: didn’t you hear?

scott: hear what?

lila b: we’re storming area 51 on september 20th

tony stark: why?

peter: to see them aliens 

harley: because they can’t stop us all

clint: oh yeah I knew that

wanda: lmao how???

clint: natasha wants to do it

natasha: I told you that in secrecy clint!!

clint: whoops

natasha: you’re fucking dead buddy

clint: well, I had a good run

tony stark: okay whatever   
tony stark: can we get back to the part where the kids said they were going to storm a government facility 

cooper: the aliens deserve better than that  
cooper: we need to get them out

harley: exactly  
harley: and anyways, we have a plan of attack

tony stark: I don’t even want to know what it is

shuri: well you don’t get to know unless you’re joining us   
shuri: so bold if you to assume that we would tell you anyways 

lila b: I just hope I don’t see my fbi agent when I go I don’t wanna have to kill him

cooper: ugh same 

clint: I don’t think we should be killing anyone

natasha: clint, you’ve killed people 

clint: we don’t need to talk about that 

natasha: also, I mean, if it’s really necessary they should  
natasha: this will be good practice

clint: what the fuck nat  
clint: no!  
clint: also what do you mean your fbi agent 

lila b: I said what I said 

scott: I had an fbi agent 

CASSIE: oh yeah!!  
CASSIE: jimmy woo  
CASSIE: whatta cool guy

scott: eh he was alright

peter: okay so we’ve got nat on our team  
peter: does anyone else want me to buy them a plane ticket to nevada 

clint: im good 

scott: not really, it’s too hot there

tony stark: nope  
tony stark: also scott that’s the only reason?

scott: yeah 

peter: what airline??

cooper: anything but delta

shuri: and so I went to the delta help desk which is an oxymoron 

harley: and said can I go home  
harley: on an airplane???

lila b: and they said NO   
lila b: IN FACT WE’RE GONNA FRAME YOU FOR MURDER

wanda: AND YOURE GONNA GO TO JAIL FOR THIRTY YEARS

tony stark: why do I even bother anymore 

peter: I love you guys  
peter: but for reals, which airline

cooper: southwest is always a good one

peter: gotcha

 

SHURI’S PHONE

three genius dumbasses 

love of my life: guys who wants to watch star wars with me

barley: me!!!2!!

shuri: I do!

love of my life: okay which one??

shuri: a new hope, that’s always a banger.

barley: I agree

barley: I mean the lightsaber fights could be better but still good

shuri: that’s true

love of my life: i’ve always wanted a lightsaber 

barley: ugh me too

shuri: wait

shuri: ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today

shuri: meet me in the lab

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

peter: guys come to the lab shuri and I are building something super fucking cool

CASSIE: it better not be another toaster

shuri: it’s quite possibly better than that

lila b: oh no what could POSSIBLY be better than a toaster

peter: :(((

shuri: just come see 

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

lila b: HOLY SHIT  
lila b: WHEN YOU SAID COOL I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE LIKE A ROBOT THATS DOES SOMETING STUPID  
lila b: NOT ACTUAL LIGHTSABERS

peter: u know it babey

wanda: this is so cool  
wanda: make me a red one   
wanda: I am the sith

shuri: one red lightsaber coming right up

CASSIE: im not really much help in the building department but can I get a blue one

peter: ofc

cooper: I would like a green one

lila b: oh yeah can I get a white one???  
lila b: those are the coolest

shuri: yep :)  
shuri: harley get your ass in here and help us

harley: yes ma’am

lila b: cooper, wanda, cassie, and I are gonna hang out outside of the lab since we can’t really help lol

CASSIE: lets watch law and order

cooper: good idea

 

While Cassie and the Bartons were watching Law and Order: SVU, Shuri, Peter, and Harley were hard at work in Peter’s lab making lightsabers. Harley was welding handles together while Peter and Shuri we’re trying to figure out a way to have them still make cool sounds when they collided while also keeping them from being deadly. Peter was flipping through an AP Chemistry textbook and Shuri was furiously typing on her computer. 

“Shuri come here, look at this.” Peter waved Shuri over to him and his textbook. Instead of showing her something in his book, he pulled up something on his phone.

“Prepare for trouble.” Peter said, grinning at Shuri.

“And make it double!” Shuri said, grinning back.

“To protect the world from devastation!” Peter yelled, jumping on top of his workbench. Harley realized what they were doing. He put down his tools and took off his welding mask. 

“To unite all people within our nation!” Harley yelled back at the other two. They looked at him and cheered.

“To denounce the evil of truth and love,” Peter and Shuri said at the same time, facing each other. At that moment was when Tony decided it was a great time to walk into the lab. He heard yelling coming from Peter’s lab, and usually that doesn’t mean something good. He did not expect the three teens to be chanting some weird theme song. Tony just stood in the doorway for a second before Harley caught his eye. They stared at each other, not speaking, for about five seconds before Tony shook his head and walked back out the door. Harley looked back at his friends and continued chanting.

“To extend our reach to the stars above!” Harley did a fist pump into the air as he sang.

“Jessie!” Peter exclaimed.

“James!” Shuri jumped up and high-fived Peter.

“TEAM ROCKET BLAST OFF AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT!” Harley practically screamed.

“SURRENDER NOW OR PREPARE TO FIGHT!” Shuri screamed back at Harley.

“MEOWTH THAT'S RIGHT!” All three of them yelled at the same time, then collapsed in a pile of laughter on the floor. Shuri got up first, helping the boys up. 

“We should probably finish the lightsabers so we can fight later.” Shuri said. The boys smiled and nodded. 

“Shuri come look at this.” Peter said to her. He opened his textbook and pointed to something on the page.

“Yeah! This could work, hang on.” Shuri grinned and took the book back to her computer. “Boys, we’re gonna have ourselves some lightsabers”

 

MEANWHILE, IN THE LIVING ROOM

 

“Are they singing the Team Rocket theme song?” Cooper asked. They could hear their friends screaming from down the hall.

“They’d better stop and do actual work. I want a lightsaber.” Lila said

“Well, it’s not like we’re paying them to work efficiently.” Cassie reasoned.

“Maybe we should, I want a fucking lightsaber.” Lila huffed.

“Don’t be a bitch, Lila.” Wanda scolded. Lila flipped her off.

“I hate this fucking family.” Lila smashed her face into a pillow.

 

SNAPCHAT

this is sparta

peter: oh my fucking god guys 

shuri: oh no watch out

peter: THOR IS EXACTLY LIKE PIKACHU

harley: WHAT  
harley: THE FUCK

CASSIE: uh oh don’t insult harley’s bf

harley: HES NOT MY BOYFRIEND

tony stark: he better not be you’re like 8 years old

harley: what is this,,, bully harley hour???

lila b: yes omfg

harley: im calling   
harley: the police 

peter: okay but think about it,,, pikachu has lightning powers   
peter: and so does thor  
peter: same person 

wanda: peter needs to stop watching pokémon and go the fuck to sleep

peter: this is arachnophobia 

cooper: peter I will pay you $1000 to stop

peter: you don’t even have that much money 

tony stark: go to bed or you’re grounded

wanda: #irondad

clint: #irondad

lila b: oh my god dad u know how to hashtag

natasha: clint! I didn’t even know you could read

clint: okay what the fuck 

peter: PIKACHU

tony stark: GO TO BED

CASSIE: everyone in this chat is on crack

harley: WHO want lasagna

CASSIE: point proven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry I took a while to update, I kept wanting to post a chapter but my cousins are in town and I was busy and I kept changing the layout of this chapter and also i’m sick but it’s okay we’re here now and I hope you really liked it :)
> 
> since ive been sick I binge watched every single spider-man movie and I just gotta say, as much as I hate the amazing spider-man, the second movie kind of slaps in the good/bad way?? idk maybe I’ve been taking too much nyquil
> 
> anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed, leave me a comment!! I love reading them :)
> 
> next chapter, lightsaber fight!!!
> 
> until next time,  
> Eliza


	12. lila give me my fucking shirt back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter is sad, wanda and lila are annoying, and shuri is way too excited about this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh hey, i’m back :)
> 
> sorry for disappearing for like almost two weeks but alas, here I am
> 
> here’s to another chapter! enjoy <3

PETER’S PHONE

mr. stark

mr. stark: peter, i have some bad news

peter: oh fuck

peter: wait lemme guess

mr. stark: okay…

peter: i’ve decided between three things. 1. scrooge mcduck is no longer the richest person alive. 2. they’re making another avatar movie. 3. lil nas x is no longer performing at the area 51 raid

mr. stark: none of that is even close to what i was going to say

peter: eh, it was worth a shot

peter: tbh i’m glad none of that is happening i don’t think i could survive another avatar movie

peter: anyways what were you saying?

mr. stark: well, i was going to say that today is monday, which means that you only have two more days left with your friends. Harley, the Barton’s and the Lang’s are leaving on wednesday. Shuri is leaving thursday because T’Challa was in DC for some boring ass UN meetings or something and he gets done on thursday. 

peter: wait this is even worse than i imagined

peter: brb gonna go cry now

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy

peter: do you ever wanna just fucking diw

harley: diw

peter: im gonna hurl myself off a cliff

CASSIE: peter what’s wrong??  
CASSIE: I mean mood   
CASSIE: but I haven’t seen you all morning 

shuri: peter where are u

peter: i’ll never tell u

shuri: i’ll ask friday

peter: shit

shuri: he’s in his room

lila b: okie doke let’s go   
lila b: you can’t escape us peter

peter: you shall not pass

harley: nope   
harley: you can’t lord of the rings yourself out of this one mister

peter: eh,,, worth a shot

 

SNAPCHAT

harley added shuri  
harley added CASSIE  
harley added lila  
harley added cooper  
harley added wanda  
harley renamed chat “peter protection squad”

harley: mission alert  
harley: peter is crying and we need to figure out why

CASSIE: oh no!!!  
CASSIE: I thought he was just being dramatic like usual!!!

harley: he’s the ceiling in his bedroom sobbing and eating an entire baguette 

wanda: oh boy

lila b: big mood

shuri: he’s my soulmate i’m telling you guys

cooper: have you considered just asking tony? maybe he’ll know what’s wrong 

harley: you’re no fun  
harley: but absolutely right   
harley: brb

 

HARLEY’S PHONE

tony

harley: hey, do you know what’s wrong with peter

harley: he’s crying on the ceiling and eating bread

tony: oh no

tony: I thought he was just being dramatic, I didn’t know he was actually going to cry 

harley: what’s wrong with him!!!!

tony sent a screenshot 

harley: oh god

harley: I might cry too omg okay I have to tell the others

tony: i’m sorry guys 

harley: :((((((

 

SNAPCHAT

peter protection squad

harley sent a screenshot

CASSIE: okay I know exactly how he feels,,, im not oaky

lila b: oaky

CASSIE: SHUT UP LILA IM IN A STATE OF DISTRESS

cooper: shhhh it’s okay

shuri: no it’s not 

CASSIE: shuri stfu you get one more day than the rest of us

cooper: fucking lucky

shuri: okay I know we’re all very sad, but let’s make the most of these two days!! we still need to have our lightsaber fight :)))

lila b: omg true!! let’s go get peter and tell him the good news

 

Cassie, Harley, Shuri, Lila, Cooper, and Wanda met up in the elevator. They pressed the floor for Peter’s room and knocked on his door.

“Peter?” Lila called. “Please let us in.” There was no answer

“Okay, You asked for it.” Harley opened the door to find Peter, sitting on the ceiling the corner in his room eating a baguette out of the long, clear bag it was in.

“Hey guys.” Peter said sadly.

“Peter, please come down.” Shuri said. Peter nodded and hopped down off the ceiling on to his bed. He stepped down off of the bed. As soon as he did, Shuri pulled him into a hug. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Shuri rubbed Peter’s back as they hugged. Soon, Cassie, Harley, Cooper and Wanda all joined in so it was one big group hug. The friends stood like that for a bit until Shuri broke the silence. 

“I know we’re all emo about leaving, but we still need to have our lightsaber fight!” Shuri said as she broke the group hug.

“Oh my gosh, you’re right!” Peter exclaimed. “Let’s go guys!” Peter grabbed Shuri’s hand and ran out of his room, motioning for his friends to follow, bread forgotten. When they got to Peter’s lab, Shuri grabbed the lightsabers that she, Harley, and Peter had made the previous day. They handed the rest of their friends their own “weapons”.

“Yes! A red one!” Wanda exclaimed as she ignited her lightsaber.

“Okay, some rules.” Shuri announced. “These lightsabers cannot kill you, they won’t cut through anything. No head shots. While they won’t kill you, we’re not sure if they’ll still do damage if they hit someone so stick to below the shoulders.”

“Okay! Partner up!” Peter said, clapping his hands together.

“Wait, should we do this Fight Club style?” Harley suggested.

“Fuck yeah.” Shuri said. “Change of plans, to the living room!” Shuri led the way to the big living room. They pushed the couches out of the way so there was room in the middle for a fight. 

“Who wants to go first?” Shuri asked. Wanda and Peter raised their hands. They both moved into the middle of the room while Shuri, Cassie, Cooper, Lila, and Harley stood in a circle around them. 

“Wanda, no magic.” Shuri told the girl. 

“Awe man.”

“And Peter, no powers. No webs, or walking on the ceiling.” 

“Okie dokie!”

“Three, two, one, go!” Peter and Wanda ignited their lightsabers. They fought for a little bit. It was going pretty well, and was very fun for their friends to watch seeing as Wanda and Peter were both very good fighters. Wanda swung at Peter’s legs. He backflipped over the back of the couch. At this point, the original circle was broken. Cassie was filming, and the rest of them were cheering.

“Hey! No powers!” Wanda exclaimed. 

“Those weren’t powers! I can just do a backflip!” Peter countered.

“Ugh.” Wanda sighed and hopped over the couch to meet Peter on the other side. It was at this moment that Tony and Natasha decided to make an appearance. The teens, however, did not notice. They were too busy either cheering or fighting.   
“What exactly is going on here?” Tony said. The teens froze. You could have heard a pin drop. 

“Uhhhhh, lightsabers?” Peter said.

“Did you make these?” Tony asked.

“Yup!” Shuri said. “Harley, Peter and I did!”

“Huh. Impressive.” 

“Really?” Harley asked.

“Yes! How did you make them safe? Explain to me what you did, you guys could really be on to something.” The three teens were so excited. Peter looked like he might faint.

“Wanda, Peter, your combat skills are improving.” Natasha said to the teens.

“Thanks, Nat.” Wanda said with a smile. Peter still looked like he was going to faint. He was so overwhelmed with all the compliments he was receiving. 

“I want to learn how to fight like that!” Lila ran over to Nat. “Please, please, please.” 

“Oh, me too!” Cassie added.

Natasha smiled. “Okay, meet me in the gym in fifteen.” Lila and Cassie high-fived and ran upstairs.

“Shouldn’t you ask Clint and Scott?” Tony inquired.

“No.” Natasha flipped her hair over her shoulder and followed the girls out of the living room.

“The rest of you, come to my lab and show me how you made these.” Tony and the remaining friends went to Tony’s lab. Peter was bouncing on his heels the entire way down. 

 

SNAPCHAT

this is sparta

peter: WHO THE FUCK WANNA DIE

tony stark: we don’t curse in this goddamn motherfucking household! SHIT!

lila b: omfg who taught him that

harley: me :)))

cooper: omg legend

shuri: peter wtf

peter: someone spilled water on the floor and didn’t clean it up and now my SOCK IS WET  
peter: AHHHHHHH  
peter: im gonna kms

shuri: there’s bleach in the laundry room

peter: thank u shuri you’re doing the most

tony stark: what. the fuck.

clint: ummm what

peter: it’s fine

clint: …..okay

wanda: LILA GIVE ME MY FUCKING SHIRT BACK

lila b: NO   
lila b: IT WAS IN MY CLOSET

wanda: THAT DOESNT MEAN ITS YOURS

lila b: YES IT DOES

wanda: WHAT KIND OF LOGIC

clint: guys stop can’t you share

wanda: NO

natasha: this reminds me of budapest 

clint: ??? no ? it doesn’t??  
clint: you and I remember budapest very differently 

wanda: LILA TAKE IT OFF THATS MINE

lila b: FUCK YOU 

cooper: oh my god   
cooper: this is how I die

clint: lila please give wanda back her shirt

lila b: amajdkjdjeakhdisksh  
lila b: fine come and get it

wanda: thank you

lila b: whatever  
lila b: wanna go to chipotle 

wanda: sure

CASSIE: what the fuck did I just witness 

harley: siblings

peter: does nobody care that i’m dying

shuri: no 

peter: I hate this fucking family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, sorry for disappearing for almost two weeks. I kind of lost inspiration there for a second, and had no energy to write so I was only writing like six scentences at a time. However, I made myself write today and i’m happy that I did. I feel like I can get back in to updating every two days or so. I genuinely have a great time writing this.
> 
> also, thank you guys so much for all of your kind comments! those are what keep me motivated. <3
> 
> in the two weeks I took off from writing I binge watched all of the lord of the rings movies, and let me tell you: if you haven’t seen them since you were little, rewatched them! Those movies are amazing. cinematic materpieces. 12 yr old me didn’t appreciate them as much as she should have. (the movies are also almost four hours long each so grab some snacks or like, an entire five course meal. You’ll be there for a while.)
> 
> okay, if you read that all, I respect you. If you didn’t, it’s okay I wouldn’t have either. Anyways, thank you so much for reading! It means a lot. I’ll let you get on with your day/night now.
> 
> see you next time,  
> Eliza


	13. you’re legally allowed to die now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shuri is a tourist, lila wants a smoothie, and peter wants gucci slides

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s me with another chapter!!
> 
> throwback to when I didn’t write real paragraphs!!
> 
> enjoy :)

SNAPCHAT

this is sparta

peter: my whole body is vibrating

harley: your skeleton is ready to hatch 

peter: more like my skeleton is going to SHAKE OUT OF MY BODY

tony stark: are you okay, peter?

peter: mmmmmm

shuri: he drank four coffees and he’s on his fifth

peter: shuri!! you said u wouldn’t tell :((

shuri: I like to see you suffer

peter: :(((  
peter: mr stark took my coffee away

lila b: good

peter: :((((((((((((((((

wanda: I can taste the chaotic energy

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

peter: good morning everyone!!!1!1!!1   
peter: have a wonderful day :))))

wanda: everyone say aye if they love peter the most

lila b: aye

cooper: aye

CASSIE: eye

harley: AYE

shuri: aye

peter: I love my weird thot family 

 

PETER’S PHONE

mr. stark

mr. stark: peter, since your friends are only here for another day, why don’t you take them into the city? i’m sure they would love it if you showed them around.

peter: let me conference with my subordinates

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

peter sent a screenshot

peter: what do you guys think????   
peter: let me be your tour guide for the day?

CASSIE: HELL YES OMFG

harley: pls do

cooper: agree i’d love to see the city 

shuri: ugh i’ve always wanted to go to rockefeller center 

peter: that’s so touristy lmao

shuri: stfu I am a tourist bitch i’m from wakanda 

peter: you make a valid argument

lila b: I wanna go 

wanda: me too  
wanda: shuri lila and cassie meet me in peter’s room we’re picking outfits 

CASSIE: oh hell yeah

shuri: omw 

lila b: lets get this bread

peter: lol okay everyone meet me in the lobby at 12:00

harley: gotcha 

cooper: see u there

 

PETER’S PHONE

mr. stark

peter: we are going out 

peter: see you if we ever get back

mr. stark: okay, please don’t die or break the law

peter: no promises

mr. stark: peter….

peter: just kidding mr stark!!! uwu

mr. stark: oh boy

 

SNAPCHAT

this is sparta

peter: hi my name is peter i’m gay and i’ve been an alcoholic for 24 years

lila b: peter make me a smoothie

peter: no  
peter: get it urself thot

lila b: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But“you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

shuri: OH MY FUCKING GOD

lila b: PETER PLEASE MAKE ME A SMOOTHIE

peter: NO

CASSIE: ILL MAKE YOU A SMOOTHIE IN MY BLENDER

lila b: CASSIE I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE HERE

clint: what did I just walk in on

harley: war

clint: okay i’m leaving have a nice life

cooper: our lives might not be much longer if lila DOESNT FUCKING CALM DOWN

lila b: ill fucking rip your face off bitch

wanda: what did he do

lila b: HE FUCKING PUSHED ME 

shuri: lmfao

peter: Why Won’t Death Take Me

harley: mood  
harley: rt if you’re a skinny legend 

cooper: harley

harley: yes

cooper: please never say that again  
cooper but rt

peter: rt

shuri: rt

wanda: rt

CASSIE: rt

lila b: rt

natasha: rt

peter: NAT OMG

tony stark: nat why’d you do that

harley: because she’s a skinny legend

tony stark: okay   
tony stark: I don’t know what that means 

peter: it’s bc you’re old

tony stark: I can kick you out if I want 

peter: lol okay  
peter: you won’t

tony stark: you’re right 

peter: :)))

tony stark: peter please stop setting the microwave timer to one second and then listening to it go off because you think it “makes a fun noise”

cooper: crackhead

peter: suddenly I am jared, 19

wanda: and I never fucking learned how to trust people and be happy 

CASSIE: well I was gonna say read but that works too

shuri: mood 

tony stark: should i be concerned

clint: probably??? but then again I don’t know because they just say shit like that

peter: *crying* i’m fine 

harley: oop same

lila b: when we go into the city can we go to urban outfitters   
lila b: it’s on 14th

peter: lmao I guess so

wanda: yay  
wanda: my bank account is already crying

CASSIE: same oops

shuri: im rich

wanda: we know

shuri: :)

CASSIE: WAIT OMG CAN WE GO TO GUCCI

peter: YES   
peter: I WANT GUCCI SLIDES

cooper: lowkey same 

natasha: not that I don’t love you guys, but can you plan your day somewhere else

peter: awee I knew you loved us  
peter: and okay, only for you nat

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

peter: monkey monkey monkey man

shuri: okay peter

harley: good morning I want coffee 

peter: we can get coffee in the city

harley: okay good   
harley: my internal organs are failing and i’m dying 

wanda: same 

lila b: give me grilled bread or give me death

peter: I just spit out my cereal

shuri: ew spit it back in 

peter: b*tch

wanda: why’d u sensor it

peter: because it’s a bad fucking word

wanda: valid 

CASSIE: I literally gag everytime I brush my teeth I could not be a porn star

wanda: good to know 

lila b: careful! the beans are tediously placed, as beans do

shuri: lila is having a psychotic break

harley: yeah I have one of those about once a week

CASSIE: just girly things

cooper: eat a hand grenade sarah 

CASSIE: you’re legally allowed to die now

cooper: finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next up, new york city babey
> 
> I was too lazy to write actual paragraphs in this chapter lol idc
> 
> i’m going on vacation (again lol) so after tomorrow my chapters will probably be shorter as I will have less time to write. just letting u know ahead of time :)
> 
> I think I finally found the perfect pair of jeans and i’d not only like to thank god but jesus too,,, not having good jeans was really testing my will to live
> 
> I also haven’t done my summer reading homework yet and I start school in less than a month i’m gonna kms
> 
> if you read this far, thank you!! you didn’t really need to hear my pointless life update lol let me know if they’re annoying. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! let me know in the comments!
> 
> see you in a couple of days,  
> Eliza


	14. im just a country girl from iowa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter wants Gucci slides, harley likes the book of mormon, and lila and shuri spend way too much money

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back!!!!
> 
> sorry im kind of (very) late but i’ve been on vacation and haven’t had much time to write
> 
> against all odds, I am here
> 
> enjoy <3

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

peter: HURRY UP 

shuri: peter if you say hurry up one more time i will rip your apendix out of your fucking body

peter: damn okay  
peter: well actually I didn’t really need it anyways 

 

Peter, Wanda, Cassie, Lila, Cooper, Harley, and Shuri all stood in the lobby of the Avengers Compound. 

“Shall we?” Peter asked.

“Yes!” Lila cheered.

“Should I drive? Or does someone else want to?” Peter inquired.

“I would, but driving in the city is hell and I’m just a country girl from Iowa.” Wanda replied.

“Wanda you have actual superpowers. You can do magic.” Cassie pointed out.

“And?”

“Okay, gang. Let’s make our way downtown.” Peter started down the hallway to the garage. 

“Walking fast, paces past, and I’m home bound.” Cassie said in a very monotone voice.

“Exactly.” Peter responded. They all piled into a very nice looking SUV. Peter backed out of the driveway and soon they were on their way into the heart of New York City.

“Road work ahead?” Shuri said as she saw a road work sign on the side of the road. This would be the fifth time she had done this.

“Uh, yeah I sure hope it does.” Everyone else replied in unison. They were professionals. Peter tried his best to parallel park, though he may or may not have tapped someone’s bumper. 

“If I knew Peter didn’t know how to park a car I would have offered to drive.” Harley said, teasingly.

“Fuck off.” Peter said and hopped out of the car. “Okay, we’re two blocks away from Rockefeller Center right now. Let’s go there, get coffee, and then we can go to Times Square and the theatre district to see if we can get same day tickets for a show!” 

“Yes! Oh my gosh can we see Les Mis!” Cassie exclaimed.

“No! That’s so depressing let’s see Hamilton.” Wanda countered.

“I see your Hamilton and I raise you The Book of Mormon.” Harley added.

“I’d be down for The Book of Mormon.” Lila nodded her head enthusiastically.

“Me too” Shuri said.

“Okay, we can try to get tickets for The Book of Mormon if everyone’s on board” Peter looked at his friends for approval.

“I’m down.” Cooper said. There was a chorus of agreement. 

“Okay then, follow me!” Peter and his friends walked in the direction of Rockefeller Center. 

However, they were on 5th avenue which meant shops, and lots of them.

“Oh my gosh, Gucci!” Lila exclaimed as she pointed across the street.

“Peter, can we go? Please!” Cassie asked.

“Hell yeah,” Peter said. “I want Gucci slides. I mean, I won’t actually buy them but I love to look at them.”

“You could ask Tony for them. You know he’s but then for you.” Shuri told him.

“I could never.” Peter responded. And that was that.

“Okie doke, lets go lesbians.” Harley said as he crossed the street. The seven teens entered the Gucci store and got a lot of pointed looks from the employees.

“I don’t belong here.” Cooper said, looking around.

“Me neither.” Wanda agreed. 

“Do you think Dad would kill me if I bought a Gucci belt?” Lila wondered.

“Absolutely. You should do it.” Wanda told her.

“How are you going to afford it? You don’t have four hundred dollars.” Cooper asked his sister.

“I have Dad’s credit card in Wallet on my phone.”

“Oh my god.” Cooper rolled his eyes. “Lila, that’s so dumb you can’t just spend four hundred dollars on a belt with Dad’s credit card.”

“Watch me.”

“She is so dead.” Wanda told Cassie. 

“I cannot wait to see how much trouble she gets in.” Harley said, laughing.

“I feel like Wanda and I will get in trouble for not stopping her.” Cooper said.

“Don’t worry, we’ll defend your honor, Cooper.” Peter said, patting his friend’s shoulder.

“Guys, Lila and I just bought matching Gucci belts!” Shuri and Lila turned around to show off their purchases. Lila put her belt on her jeans, but Shuri was wearing a dress so she just wore her belt around her waist. 

“Amazing.” Cassie took a picture of Lila and Shuri to post on her snapchat story.

“Okay, nobody tell my dad about this.” Lila said as they walked out of the store.

“How are you going to explain it when Dad asks about how you suddenly just acquired a Gucci belt.” Wanda asked.

“I’ll say it’s one of my friend’s that I'm borrowing?” Lila said, but it sounded more like a question.

“Good luck with that. We live in Iowa, nobody owns a Gucci belt.” Cooper told her.

“You guys are not helpful.” Lila ran ahead to walk next to Peter and Shuri. As soon as they got to Rockefeller Center, Shuri and Harley made a beeline for the LEGO store. Lila dragged Cassie into Free People, which was across the street from the ice rink. Peter, Cooper, and Wanda went to Starbucks to get everyone coffee. 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

peter: coffee orders GO  
peter: I already got wanda and cooper

shuri: grande iced latte with caramel

lila b: trenta pink drink light ice

shuri: trenta? really?

lila b: yes

harley: venti cold brew with vanilla sweet cream

CASSIE: s’mores frappuccino 

peter: got it :)  
peter: meet by the ice rink

 

Peter, Wanda, and Cooper sat on a bench outside of the ice rink with their drinks. Shuri and Harley came out of the LEGO store with two bags of LEGOS each. 

“Shuri just tried to fucking BUY THE LEGO COMPANY!” Harley exclaimed, not soon after taking his drink from Wanda.

“Two questions. How the fuck, and why the fuck.” Peter looked exasperated.

“I don’t know, because I could? I have the CEO’s phone number so I called him and gave him T’Challa’s phone number.” Shuri explained.

“Oh my fucking god.” Wanda put her head in her hands. “That’s so wild tell me how that goes.”

“Oh, I will.” It was at that moment that Cassie and Lila decided to make a reappearance, each holding a bag from Free People. 

“Good to have you guys back.” Cooper said to them.

“Can we do a photoshoot?” Lila asked.

“Uh, hell yes give me your phone.” Shuri grabbed Lila’s phone and started directing her in different poses. They were taking pictures in front of the flags around the ice rink. The girls switched off taking individual shots and group shots, occasionally grabbing one of the boys to be in their picture. They got a stranger walking by to take a picture of all seven of them.

“I’d say that was a successful photoshoot.” Wanda commented. There was a chorus of agreement at that.

“Should we go to Times Square now?” Peter asked his friends.

“Yes!” Harley said. 

“Okay, should we walk? It’s about a ten minute walk. Or we could take a taxi as well.” Peter inquired.

“I say we walk. We get to see more of the city that way.” Shuri reasoned. Nobody disagreed with her.

“Walking it is, folks.” Peter said as he lead his friends down the streets of New York City. Times Square wasn’t as cool as it is at night, but the teens were still in awe of it. They sat on the steps in Times Square while Peter looked up directions on his phone to the theatre The Book of Mormon was in. 

“Okay gang, let’s go see if they have seven matinee tickets!” Peter hopped up and motioned for his friends to follow him. “It’s only a three minute walk.” The teens made their way down to the Eugene O’Neill theatre on West 49th street. When they got there, Peter went up to the box office.

“Do you guys have seven tickets left for your two p.m. show?” Peter asked the employee at the window.

“Let me check.” The woman responded. “You kids are in luck! We have ten seats left and they’re all in a row!”

“Great. We’ll take those.” Peter said. The friends paid for their tickets and walked back outside get in line for the theatre. 

“I can’t believe we got tickets!” Shuri said excitedly.

“Me neither! I’m so hyped!” Harley added.

“I know! Me too!” Peter said. When they got inside, they showed the lady handing out playbills and directing people to their seats their tickets.

“Row M, right down there.” She pointed at an empty row of seats.

“Thank you!” Peter said. The seven friend sat down. As they did, the announcer came over the speaker saying that there was five minutes until curtain. They talked excitedly until the lighted started to dim.

 

SHURI’S PHONE 

t’chancla: Shuri, would you kindly tell me why the CEO of LEGOS called me to talk about us potentially buying their company?

shuri: sorry can’t talk in a show

t’chancla: Sister, I swear to god

shuri: shut up im in a show!!!!!

t’chancla: you will be the death of me

shuri: <3 u know it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t live in new york but I did live in philadelphia and have been to nyc many times. needless to say, i’ve been there enough to know my way around.
> 
> MarvelShipsSam4545 wrote a fic inspired by mine which is wack! I didn’t know people liked my story this much!! check her fic if you haven’t! 
> 
> all of the kids starbucks orders are the different things I always order lmao
> 
> I went into a bathroom today that smelled like an indoor pool. it was weird
> 
> anyway, thank you so so much for reading! I really hoped you liked it! let me know what you think in the comments, I love hearing was you have to say! 
> 
> thank you, and see you in a bit,  
> Eliza


	15. cheese good, communism bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cassie likes fast and furious, peter does too, and shuri is awaiting her inevitable demise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good morning gamers it’s ya gal eliza back with another chapter 
> 
> I hope u like :)

SNAPCHAT

this is sparta 

peter: if the apotheosis is truly upon us then the only thing it could be is we find out that the members of abba are immortal and they are recording another album and going on tour again

tony stark: peter it’s 4am go to sleep

peter: no ur not my dad

lila b: ugly ass fuckin noodle head

tony stark: am I a joke to you?

shuri: go to sleep before I boil your teeth 

cooper: hi yeah what the fuck shuri

wanda: voulez-vous 

peter: ah ha!

CASSIE: TAKE IT NOW OR LEAVE IT

harley: NOW IS ALL WE GET

shuri: NOTHING PROMISED NO REGRETS

lila b: MAMA MIA 

cooper: I was

CASSIE: cheated

peter: by

shuri: you

natasha: and I

peter: NAT

lila b: PETER WE HAD A THING GOING AND U RUINED IT

peter: OH FUCK SORRY I JUST WAS WELCOMING NAT

harley: THINK YOU KNOW WHEN

shuri: look :) into :) his :) angel :) eyes :)

cooper: ONE LOOK AND YOURE HYPNOTIZED 

tony stark: it’s amazing how they’re this coordinated when signing abba over text

CASSIE: it’s my only talent   
CASSIE: well that and I can also explain the entire plot of the fast and the furious franchise in chronological movie order

wanda: that’s absolutely true she’s done it

tony stark: ive never seen the fast and the furious movies 

shuri: me neither   
shuri: isn’t dwayne the rock johnson in them??

peter: oh honey  
peter: cassie I know what we’re doing later hmu

CASSIE: got it

harley: cheese good communism bad 

shuri: truer words have never been spoken

 

CASSIE’S PHONE

peter-man 

cassie: I was summoned 

peter-man: okay here’s what we’re gonna do

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

shuri: GUYS HELP  
shuri: MY BROTHER IS GOING TO KILL ME

harley: what’s new

shuri: THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER

peter: what happened?? because if it’s not important cassie and I can’t talk rn  
peter: we’re making a diagram and power point of fast and furious 

shuri: I BOUGHT THE LEGO COMPANY

harley: shuri WHAT THE FUCK

lila b: why on earth would you do something like that??

harley: I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST A JOKE TO MAKE THE PERSON AT THE CHECKOUT COUNTER UNCOMFY

cooper: oh my fucking god

harley: I DIDNT THINK YOUD ACTUALLY DO IT

shuri: AHAJSJSJJS

wanda: how did you even do that? 

shuri: I just told them I was the princess of wakanda and they let me buy their company

CASSIE: for how much???

shuri: I DON'T KNOW   
shuri: I DIDNT THINK THATS HOW THOSE KIND OF TRANSACTIONS WORKED

peter: holy fuck  
peter: shuri you’re wilde™️

shuri: I am SO DEAD

CASSIE: I know what will take your mind off of your inevitable doom

shuri: what

CASSIE: an hour presentation about the fast and the furious franchise 

shuri: normally I would say no but my life has no meaning anymore so let’s fucking go

peter: okay meet us in the living room

shuri: u got it 

 

SNAPCHAT 

this is sparta 

tony stark: I can’t believe you just made me sit through that 

clint: sit through what??

tony stark: cassie and peter made everyone sit through an entire hour long presentation about the fast and furious franchise 

clint: oh god

shuri: it all blurred together  
shuri: the only things I gathered were that paul walker and vin diesel’s characters were basically in love and that tokyo drift doesn’t make sense 

CASSIE: honestly, that’s all u need to know 

 

SHURI’S PHONE

t’chancla

t’chancla: SHURI 

shuri: well, I had a mediocre life it was nice while it lasted

 

LILA’S PHONE

the fam

dad: WHO THE FUCK SPENT 400 DOLLARS AT GUCCI

bro: the other shoe just dropped 

lila: oh shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep projecting my love of abba on to the characters and it’s obvious lmao whoops
> 
> sorry this chapter is shorter ill make it up to u guys with the next one :)
> 
> im in ireland right now and I got to go to the island where the scenes with luke and rey were filmed and honestly that was the highlight of my life
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter, let me know what you think in the comments :)
> 
> until next time,  
> Eliza


	16. bitch im fucking crying rn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter is a nerd, lila wants a burrito, and everyone is sad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what??? me?? posting a chapter?? unheard of!!!
> 
>  
> 
> hey it’s me im back with another chapter :) 
> 
> im so sorry it’s been so long but I hope you enjoy anyways

SNAPCHAT

this is sparta

shuri: peter’s a nerd

peter: no i’m not 

harley: nerd

peter: nO

lila b: NERD

peter: >:-(

wanda: peter accept your fate  
wanda: i’m so sorry but you’re a nerd

tony stark: is he a nerd because he’s super duper smart? because that makes all of you hypocrites 

shuri: i’m flattered but no

clint: then why?

CASSIE: it’s because he can recite ALL THREE LORD OF THE RINGS MOVIES LINE FOR LINE 

cooper: you’re forgetting that he can recite the EXTENDED EDITIONS

peter: stop exposing me :(

harley: we were just casually having a lotr movie marathon and as soon as fellowship started peter was RECITING THE PROLOGUE ALONG WITH CATE BLANCHET EYE-

lila b: peter it’s absolutely ridiculous   
lila b: why would you even know the prologue it’s the most boring part I always skip it

peter: okay tell me you all don’t have at least one movie that you can recite all of the lines for

shuri: well sure I can recite most of the famous lines in star wars

CASSIE: I know all the cheers in bring it on 

peter: see??

wanda: peter you’re missing the point,, cassie and shuri’s things are normal  
wanda: you being able to recite all three extended editions of lord of the rings is WILD

tony stark: was he really doing that??

harley: YES   
harley: he was literally saying the lines with the characters

peter: okay maybe you guys have a point

tony stark: you need to get out more  
tony stark: before you say anything,, I mean BESIDES spider-man

peter: touché 

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

lila b: BURRITO

CASSIE: what

lila b: I WANT BURRITO SOMEONE GET ME BURRITO

wanda: postmate a burrito dumbass

lila b: oh yeah

peter: I am a festive piñata and god is a 13 year old boy whose parents just announced their divorce

harley: that’s the phattest mood

cooper: u good peter??

peter: nO

cooper: why not??

peter: uhh dumbass ur leaving today!!!!!!!!!!!  
peter: im so emo

cooper: FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

wanda: oh   
wanda: well time to THROW MYSELF OFF OF A BUILDING 

CASSIE: I h a t e my life

harley: NO I refuse

shuri: haha losers I have one more day 

harley: SHUT YOUR FUCK

lila b: can I still postmate my burrito??

cooper: THATS WHAT YOURE WORRIED ABOUT?????  
cooper: THIS IS LIFE OR DEATH!!!

lila b: wow okay who pissed in your cereal 

CASSIE: I hated every letter of that sentence

wanda: ew lila that’s not a saying stOp

lila b: okay i’m being ATTACKED

 

“Cassie, Harley!” The teens heard Scott call from the next room over. They were hanging out in Peter’s room. “Our Uber is here! We have to go!” 

“Awe, man.” Harley said, getting up from his spot on the floor. 

“No, Cassie! You can’t leave!” Lila said, hanging on to Cassie so that she couldn’t get up.

“I know! We’ll see each other soon though. I can feel it.” Cassie said as she untangled herself from Lila. Peter got up to give Cassie a hug, as did everyone else. Then they hugged Harley and helped their two friends bring their suitcases downstairs. 

“There you are! Let’s go guys.” Scott said as he saw Cassie and Harley. “I know you’re sad, but maybe we can stop by Dutch Bros on the way there. I know you guys like that.” 

“That would be good. I need caffeine.” Harley said. Cassie just nodded. The rest of the teens walked them out to the driveway. Peter gave Cassie and Harley one last hug before they got into their Uber. Cassie and Harley sat in silence for most of the ride, except when they ordered from Dutch Bros. 

“Cas. Cassie, wake up. We’re here.” Harley said, shaking Cassie awake. She had fallen asleep on his shoulder. They made their way through the airport together until they eventually had to split up at their respective gates. 

“I’m gonna miss you, Harley. I already miss everyone else so much.” Cassie said as she gave Harley one last hug.

“I know me too, Cas.” He said as he pulled away. “I’ll see you later, then?” 

“Yeah, see you later.” Cassie said. She walked back over to Scott.

“I know it’s sad, but you’ll be okay, Peanut.” He said, pulling Cassie into a hug. 

“Yeah, I know.” Cassie said, smiling into his shoulder.

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

peter: bitch i’m fucking crying rn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow okay! hi everyone :)
> 
> it’s been a while. school started which sucks because I hate school with my entire being it’s horrible. ap classes are DUMB why do I keep signing up for them??? fuck. anyways i’ve had this chapter half written for a while, and even right now it’s still half written but I felt like I needed to post it so that I could get it out of my head and start fresh with a new chapter. i’m not sure if this chapter is even any good, but I did my best. school really just brings out the worst in me so uhhh i’ll be updating less often now but i’ll still update don’t worry :)
> 
> sorry if I bored u with my problems so if you read all of that and u got this far, respect 
> 
> I love all of u, thank you so much for reading and as always, i’ll see you next time 💖
> 
> -Eliza


	17. tj was the worst president

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter is sad, shuri is also sad, and wanda has the worst taste in names

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys.... 
> 
> so yeah. It has been uhhhh eight months since I last updated?? I am so so sorry. but i also don't have an excuse other than i didn't feel like it. school was crazy, but now we're in quarantine so i have way more time on my hands. anyways, i'm not sure if anyone is even reading this anymore but if you're here, i hope you enjoy :)

Peter and Shuri sat on Peter’s bed. They had just woken up, even though it was twelve in the afternoon. 

“So, last day. What do you want to do?” Shuri asked Peter.

“Die.” Peter responded. He threw himself backwards onto the bed. Shuri laid down next to him. They both stared up at the ceiling. A couple of minutes passed before Shuri spoke.

“Okay, same. But for real, Peter. We can’t waste our last day by just laying around. Let’s do something fun!” Shuri said. She sat up and looked down at Peter. 

“Yeah, like what?” He asked dejectedly. 

“We could make another pointless robot and listen to the Mamma Mia soundtrack?” Shuri suggested. 

“Yeah okay, that sounds fun.” Peter sat up and gave Shuri a smile. Then they both made their way down to Peter’s lab.

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy 

shuri sent a picture  
[the picture is of Peter posing next to a robot with a knitted scarf in its hands.]

shuri: we built a robot that knits scarves

lila: does it knit other things besides scarves??

peter: no

lila: oh???

shuri: it’s our tradition to build dumbass robots with only one very specific purpose 

wanda: i’m so glad you two are using your genius brains to build useless robots 

peter: i’m glad you approve :)

wanda: I hate u

CASSIE: guess who just landed!!   
CASSIE: me  
CASSIE: oh also nice robot guys

cooper: does it have a name??

peter: you know what? we haven’t thought of that

shuri: yeah everyone name suggestions GO

cooper: johnathan 

lila: candace

CASSIE: cauliflower 

wanda: thomas jefferson jr.

peter: i’m so sorry wanda but no. tj was the worst president 

cooper: tj??

peter: too lazy to type his whole name

shuri: also lila wins  
shuri: I like candace

lila: YES

peter: I agree,, i’m honored to name our robot after the most iconic snitch in all of television history 

cooper: also on the best tv show ever created

peter: that too

harley: what the fuck is up kyle  
harley: I just landed!!! what did I miss??

shuri: no what did you say dude

lila: step the FUCK UP kyle

harley: thank you

CASSIE: peter and shuri built a useless robot that only knits scarves and lila names it candace

harley: oh nice  
harley: I miss you guys already :(

peter: I miss you too!!!!

lila: us too :((((

wanda: we have to plan another trip asap

CASSIE: yes! maybe you guys can come to san francisco next time!!

shuri: i’d love that! I want to see the golden gate bridge 

peter: or maybe another worldwide catastrophe will bring us together again!

harley: god I fucking hope not 

 

PETER’S PHONE 

mr. stark: pete, I need you and shuri to come upstairs. it’s time for her to leave

peter: NO 

peter: NONONONINOKO

peter: I will NOT

mr. stark: peter please, don’t make this difficult. I know you’re sad but this isn’t that last time you’ll see each other

peter: fine. i’m not happy about it though. 

mr. stark: I know pete, I know

 

Peter looked up from his phone sadly. “Come on, Shuri. You have to leave now I guess. Mr. Stark told me to come upstairs.” He said.

“Awe, no!” Shuri exclaimed. “You know, I kinda made myself forget this was our last day.”

“Me too” Peter replied. The two friends got up and walk to the elevator. When they got to the main floor T’Challa and Tony were waiting for them.

“Say your goodbyes, and then it’s time to go.” T’Challa told them. Peter and Shuri threw their arms around each other. They hugged for a while until Shuri pulled back and put her hands on his shoulders. 

“We’ll see each other again.” She stated. “I’m sure of it.”

“I know.” Peter said with a smile. And with that, Shuri ruffled Peter’s hair -much to his annoyance- and walked out the door with T’Challa. Peter wiped away a tear on his cheek. He looked over at Tony who then gave Peter a little side hug. The pair stood as they watched T’Challa and Shuri’s jet take off into the distance.

 

SNAPCHAT

absolute anarchy

peter: alright who’s tryna plan another trip right now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm not sure if i'm going to continue updating, at least frequently. my motivation to do anything has been off and on lately. 
> 
> things i've done so far this week in quarantine  
> -been undefeated in just dance  
> -re-read dune in honor of the new movie  
> -re-watched all of the x-men movies and left annoyingly long reviews on letterboxd  
> -ate a tube of mini m&m's  
> -cried
> 
> anyways, if you read this far, thank you! i hope you and your family are safe and healthy. If anyone still cares, give me suggestions about where i should take the story! i have some ideas but i'd like some input :) thank you so much for reading!
> 
> see you soon (hopefully),  
> Eliza

**Author's Note:**

> if you got this far, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed :) if you liked it, and you care, I definitely won’t have an update schedule at all. I just write whenever i’m bored and have time (which is a lot) anyways, let me know what you think! (im only taking nice comments or constructive criticism please don’t make me cry)


End file.
